Why Me (vent)

Why

Key:
Bold- voices speaking
Italic- child me is speaking
Normal- me speaking
Italic underlined- school speaking
Underlined-Bullies speaking

I wake up
Look in my mirror.....
Voices:You're fat, ew too thin, piece of paper

I hate my body
I get ready for school
Child me:Have breakfast?
NO....I'm not hungry
But I am
Shut up idc I'm NOT HUNGRY
make mum a coffee make her happy, she's happy= no yelling
Wake mum up at 7AM
Mum:WAKING ME UP AT 6:30 SOUNDS NICE DONT IT
Give her coffee get dressed
U look so ugly
Shut up

I walk to school reading a book whilst walking
People are judging you.... stop breathing
Shut up
You know they are watching
Once I'm at school my belly is rumbling for food
I said I'm not hungry
But I am
No I'm not
I go to my friends and act ok
They hate you so much
Shut your trap
"You ok liv?"
"Oh! Yea I'm fine just like zoning out!"
You're not fin-
Yes I am
Your so fat
Shut up
Everybody's watching you
Leave me alone
It's your fault
Shut it
It's your fault its all your fa-

I SAID SHUT UP

I start to have a panic attack but I try to cover it up
Freak
Weirdo
Clown
S/ut
Wh0r3
Bitch
Leave me alone
I'm hungry
I DONT CARE
I smile through the pain
Bullies:Heya weirdo, wonky foot olivia~
I hate my life
School:You're not good enough.... try harder
I'm trying as hard as I can
I try and try everyday but you don't appreciate me

Mum:You look pregnant
I'm not hungry anymore
I stopped eating alot of food
I feel ill
Help me
Help
Go die in a hole
Leave me alone
I'm hungry
I'm not
Try harder
Wonky feet Olivia~
Hey I'm hungry feed us
You are not trying hard enough
You are better off dead
I'm so hungry it hurts

Freak.....

I grab my mums sleeping pills
Do it do it do it do it do it
Daddy will be sad if we go

T r y    H a r d e r

HOW THE FUCK AM I SUPPOSTED TO TRY HARDER WHEN IM TRYING AS HARD AS I CAN

I cry myself to sleep

Your so ugly everyone hates you

Your best friend even hates you

That's not true she/he loves us

A/n
This is why I hate my life