Hi, my name is Mia

My best friend Ana |1st entry

Hi, my name is Mia...
I have some problems. Mentally, I mean.
But let's not talk about them.
Let's talk about all the fun parts about life!
Like food. Or my best friend Ana.
We're so different, and yet so similar, it's like we were made out to be best friends!
Although, there have been times when Ana hasn't been loyal to me and wasn't there when I needed her the most.
It seems like she leaves whenever I feel out of control, those are the times when I truly realise how lonely I am. However, she always bounces back when I am in focus again, so even if I feel hurt by her sudden disappearances, I find comfort in talking to her once I'm feeling slightly better.

You know, it is really hard to describe Ana as a person. When people see us, they think Ana is just the better version of me. Like I am a prototype of something and she is the end result and living and looking like I should do as well. Ana is aware of that, and sometimes takes advantage of it by rubbing it in my face, which is mean, but she doesn't do it often, so I forgive her.
I think the main difference between us is that she knows how to control her actions better than me. She's not as impulsive as me and doesn't act on every thought in her mind. That is something really hard for me, and also causes trouble.

Whenever I see Ana, I want to be her. But I can't.
We're too different. Whenever I act on an impulsive thought of mine, I regret it and think "This would have never happened to Ana. At least not this often."

Sometimes Ana doubts me and says I am weak for always giving in to every wish I have. She's not wrong. But, I don't think she realises how much I try to undo the damage which has been caused when it happens. I really try! I do!
Some of the damage can be repaired, and I can always rely on myself when times are getting hard again.