A/n: PLEASE REMEMBER THAT ZENITSU IS A GIRL! I'm not gonna change the name because I think it fits. ANYWHO BACK TO THE STORY!
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[On a rural path through a field. Tanjirou's kasugai crow gives him instructions.]
Crow: South-southeast! Your next location is south-southeast!
Tanjirou: I heard you! I heard, so give me a break and quiet down! I'm begging you! I got the message, so please!
Zenitsu: Please!!
Tanjirou: Wha! Huh?
Kaaru: Eh?
[Kasru and Tanjirou turn to see Zenitsu harassing a guy nearby.]
Zenitsu: Please! Please! Please! Please marry me! I could die any day, you know! That's why I want you to marry me! So please! Please! I'm begging you!
Tanjirou: Wh-What's up with that? What on earth?
[Zenitsu's sparrow flies over to Kaaru.]
Tanjirou: Woah...
Kaaru: Hey little guy..
[ Zenitsu's sparrow makes frantic flapping motions.]
Tanjirou: Huh?
Kaaru: Ah I see.
[On the rural path. Zenitsu's sparrow continues making frantic motions as Zenitsu harasses the guy.]
Zenitsu: I'm begging you!! There's no one else! You're all that I have!
Tanjirou: (finally catching on) Okay... Okay... I see! Gotcha! I'll do something about it!
Kaaru: (walking towards zenitsu) Don't worry about Tanjirou I'll handle it.
[The guy pushes Zenitsu away from him.]
Zenitsu: Please help me! Please marry me! I'm begging --
[Kaaru pulls Zenitsu away from the guy.]
Zenitsu: Gah!
Tanjirou: (catching up) What do you think you're doing right in the middle of the road?! Can't you see he wants no part of you?! And don't go making trouble for your sparrow, either!
Zenitsu: Ah... That uniform! You're that guy from the Final Selection!
Tanjirou: No one I know is anything like you! I don't know you!
Zenitsu: What?! But we met, remember? We met, remember?! You're the one with the problem! Like your memory!
[Tanjirou recognizes Zenitsu from the Final Selection. He lets go of Zenitsu's collar.]
Tanjirou: All right, it's been taken care of. You can head home now without any worries.
Guy: I will. Thank you very much!
Zenitsu: Hey!! Stay out of my way! That guy is going to marry me! Because he's in love with me, all ri --
[The guy slaps Zenitsu across the face.] Wha... Gah!
[The girl continues slapping Zenitsu on the head.]
Hey! Ouch! That hurts! Stop it! Stop it! Ouch! Ouch! Ouch!
Kaaru: [shoves the guy off of Zenitsu] Oi never put your hands on a woman unless necessary! [Kaaru starts stalking towards the guy]
Tanjirou: H-Hey, calm down!
[ Tanjirou holds Kaaru back from beating up the guy more.]
Zenitsu: Ahhh!!
Guy: When did I ever tell you that I loved you?! You were crumpled up on the side of the road looking ill, and all I did was speak to you!
Zenitsu: What?! You mean you didn't reach out to me out of love because you were worried?!
Guy: I already have a fiance, so not on your life! With all that energy, you must be fine now, right?! Goodbye!
[The guy storms off.]
