Sacrifice (ONC 2023)

Prologue

Sil, I don't know if we can win this!"

The panic in Tarquin's voice was as plain as the terror in my own heart. I knew he was right, even if I wasn't ready to admit it to myself just yet. The books and crappy motivational posters back home always said

'There is always a way'. They lied, there wasn't a way.

Not this time.

"We'll make it out of this Tarquin," I promised as I gripped his shoulder reassuringly, "All of us."

I ran through all the plans in my head, ones that involved us running, cowering, panicking, but none where we came out on top. The possibility that I could die here finally hit me like a tsunami does a seaside town: with all the rush of emotions at once, tearing down the walls of denial I had shoddily constructed to keep myself together. In that moment where I had expected myself to break, the truth I had been pushing down within my mind rose up to greet me with an evil smile on its metaphoric face. It and I both knew what had to be done.

In my small lapse of concentration, the thing
almost got me but I dodged just in time, feeling drops of the saliva-esque liquid coating its tentacles land on my face, cooling the target area exponentially. I saw flashes of heat-proof suits flash by my vision, mixed with the mottled maroon hue of the thing's tentacles, as if almost in a daze.

What brought me back to reality was the gasp of pain from somewhere off to my right: it was Tarquin. The creature had thrown him across the cave and into a wall knocking his breath out. The twisting, stone spike protruding from his stomach was the only thing I could focus on. I could only stare in horror as the life drained from his normally humorous green eyes.

His body went limp.

His chest stilled.

My world shattered.

The Beast hit me with it's tentacle and i went sprawling across the cavern floor only to come to a stop on the floor, facing the ceiling, the spikes at the summit seemed miles away, an impossible distance and the drips of red liquid felt scalding as they fell onto my cheeks, mingling with my tears, carving a path down my face.

But none of it mattered anymore. Tarquin - my best friend on this planet or Earth - was gone. Gone.

Gone...

I had watched the life drain from his eyes like water from cupped hands. There was nothing I could have done to save him. If I had just come up with a plan a little quicker, and been a better leader, I could have saved him. Had I been a better friend. My earlier words floated back to me on the winds of fate,mocking me:

We'll make it out of this Tarquin, all of us.

Those were the last words I said to him and every one of them was a lie. He would never make it out like I promised. I failed him.

I knew I should get up and help the rest of my friends win this fight, but it was as though a sudden fatigue permeated my bones and all I wanted to do was lie here. Could still win this! You can mourn him later. The voice in my head encouraged me. But was it even worth winning? Did I even want there to be an 'after' anymore? Was it even still worth it? In that moment time slowed down and my heartbeat was the loudest thing I could hear: louder than the roars from the thing, louder than the cries for help bouncing off the cavern walls, louder than my grief. It echoed in my eardrums creating a cacophony so tumultuous that I was sure everyone else could hear it too.

In those few moments I relived my entire life, from my earliest memory to now.

The memory of Tarquin and I running through a public park while both our parents sat on a nearby bench, smiling, gossiping and laughing at our antics. We would come to this park all the time, even as adults and run around until our lungs clawed for breath.

The memory of when the two of us were eight years old and promised each other that we would be together forever as best friends after we had a fight over something stupid that i couldn't recall.

The memory of me, my mum and my dad sitting by my Grandma's bed as her life support line went flat, of my mum holding my hand as my whole being went numb, of my first taste of death.

The memory of graduating school with Tarquin at my side and both deciding we would go on to be the world's greatest astronauts, like we had always dreamed of as kids.

The memory of receiving the letter that said I had been accepted into the institution that trained youths for the upcoming test flight to Mars, of feeling that elation double when I found out Tarquin had received the same letter as I had.

The memory of volunteering for the first ever mission to Mars with two other people I had never met before, of meeting Tarquin's eyes from across the hall and the relief I felt when he stood and raised his hand as the fourth and final member.

The memory of being appointed captain of the expedition and learning the names of the others who were destined to go with me: Eliza (Eli) and Axel (Ax).

The memory of our ship landing on the surface of Mars and the cheer over the intercom of the crew back on Earth:
We had done it. We were the first people to land on Mars.

The memory of seeing the surface of the planet for the first time, of the wonder I felt at the prospect of a whole new place I may one day call home, of Tarquin opening the door of the ship for me, saying I should be the first one to step off.

The memory of bonding with Eli and Ax as we explored the planet and first dealt with the weather and its extremities, of hiding out in a hollowed out sand dune on our first day there because of a sandstorm.

The memory of loving our time there, of after only our first week there, deeming it safe for humans to live on, of calling back to Earth to send over the shuttle with people on it.

The memory of how it all went wrong, of how we discovered traces and hints in a cave of something that might not be so friendly, of how the shuttle could not be sent back once it started its journey, of how we took it upon ourselves to do something about it.

Of how stupid we were.

My whole life passed before my eyes, twenty-four years became twenty-four seconds.
I thought of how I would have to be the one to give Tarquin's parents the news. I realised we would never live out our dreams together like we always planned. He was too young to go, still had so many joys to experience, ones that i didn't want to experience by myself, ones I wanted a best friend to share the ride with.
As I shifted on the ground, I felt something in my pocket like my side. When I bent down to touch it through the fabric, one memory in particular came floating to the forefront of my mind, that had previously been lost in the sea of confused thoughts, one memory that had the power to potentially change everything:

The memory of the Big Boss handing me a pocket sized capsule - just before we were due to set off on our endeavour - with a pin in it that reminded me of a grenade, of him telling me that if I ever made a mistake and wanted to have a second try to pull the pin, of him saying he couldn't tell me exactly what it would do but that he trusted I would be able to figure it out on my own.

The memory of slipping that same 'fate altering' capsule into the jacket pocket of my element-resistant jacket in case of an emergency, with the suspicion it had been a joke played by the crew as a final goodbye to me. Well, joke or not, this was the emergency I needed it for.

I reached down into my pocket and felt the capsule there, miraculously still intact, as my fingers closed around it, I felt them brush against something else: the corner of a journal.The journal was a cool parting gift I got from my mother that would write whatever I spoke to it. I recalled bringing that with me along with me to document our journey but always forgetting to in the excitement of the day. So it remained blank. If I had documented our adventure would people tell Tarquin's story, or would it be lost into the void of forgotten heroes? I pushed that aside and tightened my grip on the capsule, my eyes squeezed shut and the noise of the cavern blocked. I didn't know what this would do but the Big Boss said to use it to undo one mistake, and if this wasn't that one, I don't know what would be.

My eyes snapped open, taking in the ceiling of this fateful cavern once more, before I pulled the pin.