𝐍𝐘𝐗

10'

𝗡𝘆𝘅 𝗝𝗮𝗺𝗲𝘀☾︎

I sat in the middle of my bed as City Girls by YNW melly played in my ears, staring at my sketch book i felt a block i didn't know what to draw but i felt the need to.

she don't want love, she don't love no one but herself.

They lyrics hit my chest at the moment. it's been three weeks since i spoke to Sani, i was over thinking everything, everything. i still spoke with savonte cause i know he needed all the support he could get dealing with moving out his mama house, now she tryna claim he a runaway so he got a court hearing to get emancipated and all that.

I just don't want to commit to Sani and i know im leaving atlanta for college after the summer, but we were like two magnets we couldn't stay away from each other for some reason, and i knew that would only make my leaving worse

Promise im not here to burden you, im here to help.

I felt tears welting up in my eyes thinking about everything and everyone i was leaving behind, but i had goals to reach and i know i didn't want to be stuck in the city all my life, the city had a way of grasping you and never letting you leave. I couldn't fault myself

Sudden knocks on my door caused me to wipe my eyes and pause my music

"Come in!"

"Some one is here to see you sweet pea" my mom said peeking her head in my door. it was probably speed he'd been coming over when he had free time just to talk and chill

i nodded sliding my feet into my slippers before making my way downstairs behind my mama, as i got to the bottom of the stairs i saw a familiar side profile sitting on the couch talking to my dad. his hair wasn't blonde anymore.

"hey" i announced myself interrupting their conversation, he turned to me and i noticed a small smile on his facing making me smile too. I looked over at my daddy who had a mug on his face, he liked sani but he still gone be funny acting with his baby girl.

" come on" i said waving my hand indicating for him to follow me up to my room. Once we made it to my room i closed the door behind me before clearing some space on my bed for him to sit

"so wassup, you been hella MIA" he said as he watched me move around my room cleaning up things that weren't even messy simply tryna avoid the inevitable conversation we were having.

"I just been busy tryna get ready to go to school you know" i shrugged before sitting next to him staring down at my hands.

"and you couldn't just tell me that because?" he looked over at me

"i don't know, i just been in my head too heavy lately"

"then talk to me, Nyx i just wanna be here for you if you let me" He said grabbing my chin making me look at him. Why he gotta be so... him, he just gets me in a way no body else does.

"i'm sorry" i mumbled looking at his features

"im just scared man" i said still staring into his eyes

"you have nothing to be afraid of, you better than all of us, you gone be more than you ever dreamed of"

but that means ill have to leave

"yeah" i mumbled looking back down

"so we good?" he asked i nodded before he pulled me into him so i was now on his lap with his arms wrapped around me

"i missed you" i leaned my head into his shoulder taking in his scent.

"i missed you more man" he rubbed his hand down my back

impossible

"i got you something shawty" he said reaching into his lil tote bag to grab something. he pulled out a small box, before handing it to me. i opened the box to reveal a gold necklace with a moon symbols on it

"Wow, thank you so much, put it on me" i said smiling before gathering my messy hair up so he could place the necklace on me. He made all my problems go away so easily

"perfect" he smiled looking at me, that perfect smile made my world seem so perfect. I knew though as the summer passed the longer i sat on everything the worse it would be, but i didn't want the good to end.

_____________

After sami left my house i walked down to liyah's house, i had kinda went ghost in everybody and i missed my bestie with no tessie.

"And girl im so done with that nigga Lo, i just don't want it to be awkward" we were sitting in her bed. Tionne had went back home to get more things she needed to stay all summer.

"I mean it's not like yall were even in a relationship it was just a lil bit of experimenting' " i shrugged my shoulders

"exactly i think imma just chill on niggas for a minute, but at the same time i know it ain't none but white boys out there in savannah so i might need to get al the niggas i can right now" she said tapping her chin like she just said the smartest thing

"you are crazy" i laughed shaking my head

"but what bout you, what made u go ghost on the world"

"you know how i get, just overthinking until i get sick" i shook my head

"mainly bout me and sani, i just don't know if i want to commit to him like this and then i have to leave, i don't want to hurt him" i said playing with my necklace

"well don't wait too long to tell him you leaving, i mean he know you going to school but everybody still under the impression you gone be in georgia but me"

After i received my acceptance letter from my dream school LSU, all the thoughts of a gap year of staying in georgia went out the window, i only told liyah outside of my family i felt like such a traitor.

"i knowwww" i dragged

"but what if it's too late, what if i tell him know and he still be mad and hurt i waited so long, i just don't know when the right time for something like this would be". i felt this heavy burden in my chest every time i talked about the situation

"just rip the band aid off be fore the wound get infected suh that's all im sayin"

"girl what?" i look at her crazy, sometimes i think she just like to hear herself talk

__________________

"Ugh what the hell, imma be back at jonesboro high and yo ass gone be in louisiana" speed smacked his lips sitting across from me. We were currently on a bestie date to go get some food and go to this lil music concert they was having at a park today. I figured I'd tell him if he promised not to tell anybody else.

"Sucks to suck" i said eating my food making him flick my forehead

"but seriously, i'm happy for you i know how bad you wanted to go to that school, and i know how bad you wanna be a teacher so you gone get all yo goals" he said before eating with a sad smile on his face

this is what i dreaded

"thank you, im gone miss you so much" i said thinking bout how im gone be out there with nobody i knew and how everything i loved was still gonna be in atlanta

"aye stop". he said making me look up

"stop what" i said looking at him confused

"stop thinking of all the bad, just enjoy the good while we still got it" he said making me smile

"you right"

just enjoy the good while i still have it.

_______________

Heyyyy yalll, i know im guilty af HELL.  i been so MIA with all my stories, but i just wanted to let yall know im backkk.

This just a short lil chapter so yall can get an idea of where im headed with this story, and again im so sorry for my unannounced hiatus but i am back and im gonna try to be back more often. it's just that senior year really tearing me a new one yall. but i've missed writing and enjoy

~ken

i didn't proofread this btw