I'm Safe With You

Chapter 15

It doesn't get any worse than this.

I'm laying in Leon's bed, I've always hated the way his sheets smell. It makes me feel like I'm constantly breathing in liquor. I sit up, leaning over slowly to check the time on his phone. It's 3:20 AM.

I look over and he's snoring beside me with the arm that was tightly wrapped around my neck half an hour ago now hanging over the side of his bed. I roll my legs out to the edge and place them on the floor. Holding the bed frame so I can stand up, trying to stay as quiet as I can.

When I successfully make it to the bathroom I shut the door and flick the light on. When I get in front of the mirror to take a good look at myself I'm surprised to see that it could be worse. I have a small scar over my chest, and a bruise on my hip but that's about it. Other than that I'm just aching.. But not enough to the point where I can't walk, so that's good.

I sneak into my room and see Passion spread out across my bed. I know she knows what Leon did to me cause he didn't bother waiting for her to leave for soccer practice. I hate the fact that she was in the house when it happened. I decide to put on a light tank top and an old pair of shorts, not bothering to cover up the few marks that I have this time cause I don't plan on talking to anyone at three in the morning.

I grab my phone, headphones, and drawing pad before lightly making my way downstairs and out the front door. After I close the door I take a seat on the last step of the porch and set my things down, putting my headphones in.

I don't feel like crying anymore. I've done enough of that for the last few hours without a break and I still feel the dry tears on my cheeks. I wouldn't doubt it if my eyes are completely red.

It's 4:30 now and I'm showing absolutely no signs of wanting to go back inside. I should have brought some snacks if I knew I'd be out this long. I'm about to play my next song when I see something moving towards me from the corner of my eyes.

My heart skips a beat cause I already know who it is before I turn my head and see Chris walking closer. He's in grey shorts and the same sleeveless hoodie he had on from the water fight day with our siblings.

As I really see him again I realize what I have to do. And the action alone makes me wanna cry. I pinch the inside of my cheek to try and stop the tears, It works for now.

I stand up and pause my music when he reaches me and the first thing I notice is his eyes flick over to the scar on my chest for a second. A pained expression forms on his face and I look away, what I'm about to do is hard enough and it doesn't help to see him like that right now.

He speaks first, Keeping his voice low while putting his hands in his pockets. "I have something that needs to be said."

Good. "So do I." I tell him, wondering if we're really on the same page.

I think he's wondering the same thing cause he looks at me with his eyebrows raised, hesitating for a second. "You first." He says slowly.

I stare down at the grass, trying to bring myself to say it. When I realize how these words will sound out loud I have to start biting my cheek again.

I take a deep breath, collect my thoughts, and meet his eyes.

Damn.. I'm really gonna miss them.

"We can't speak to each other no more." I can't even maintain eye-contact for the entire sentence. I know the way his face will change and it will being down the tears that I'm trying to hold back.

He doesn't say a word so I continue. "I can't risk being seen with you, I don't think I'm even supposed to be outside right now, Leon might start keeping tabs on me and-"

"Let me help you.."

His voice is shaky, I don't know if he's crying but I don't wanna check. I bite my lip and squeeze my eyes shut when a single tear escapes. His pleading tone isn't helping me. I shake my head. How could he possibly help me without getting me in any more trouble? And the fact that Leon's starting to do this to me in front of Passion, I can't have that.

I pick up my things and decide to go inside. Before I do I glance at him, relieved to see he's not crying. Yet.

"Do you want to live like this?" He asks before I turn around. I shake my head again, not really sure what words to say. A simple no doesn't begin to explain my hatred for the environment I live in.

"Then let me help you, Please.."

Time to look away again. "Chris there's not a lot you're understanding. So please stay out of my business and let me do what I need to do to keep the person I love safe." I tell him, trying to keep my voice calm.

There's a short pause before he continues. "What if I'm trying to do the same?"

I furrow my eyebrows at the grass I'm still staring at to avoid his eyes, not really sure what he means by that. If his family was in danger he wouldn't be here right now. I turn around without replying and walk up the steps, signaling that our conversation is over.

He decides otherwise. "Destiny."

I can't stand here and try to explain something that I don't exactly understand myself. He needs to let this go and walk away, It's not his problem and he was living perfectly fine before he found out. I don't understand why he really gives a shit about what happens in our house, it's kind of aggravating me. Cause he doesn't have to care..

He repeats my name again but I ignore it, I already have my hands on the doorknob, about to turn it when his next words make me freeze.

"I love you.."

That's why.

I stop, not sure if I wanna turn around yet but he continues anyway.

"I would have closed my curtains when I saw you in your backyard for the first time."

"I would have hopped over the fence and went to bed instead of deciding to kiss you that night."

"I would have shrugged it off when I saw your bruise."

I soften my grip on the doorknob, still frozen in place, and decide to let the tears fall this time.

"I would have said no and went back inside instead of spending hours at the park with you."

"I would have walked away five minutes ago" His voice is rising slightly, but I don't bother stopping him. "Instead of standing here to pour my heart out to you. If I didn't truly love you."

I turn my head towards him a little, not fully facing him.

"I realized it yesterday Destiny. And I needed to let you know."

He stops, but I don't hear him walking away. He's waiting for me to say something..

I don't know how I truly feel. I taught myself to love nothing, and no one but my little sister. Did he change that for me?

I can't bring myself to say anything so I turn the knob. It's killing me but I feel like this is what I need to do. I swing the door open and I still don't hear him walking away. He's making this harder for me..

"I need to go." I whisper to him, loud enough for him to hear. Then I swing the door open.

I step inside and glance down at his feet, I see them move away slowly before I shut the door.

My hand is still on the doorknob and I stay where I am, leaning my forehead against the door to let my tears fall down. I squeeze my eyes shut.

I don't like the way my heart feels and I want it to stop..