Miss Jackson (Rewrite) (The first 10 chapters)

Chapter 9

Brendan

I glance at my watch as I grade papers, the time is going by so slowly. I hate that I sent her that message, I just thought it would be better not to entertain even being friends with her because of the feelings I have for her. I know she'd never reciprocate them and even if she did it's not like we can do anything about it. The school would fire me in a heartbeat if they knew I was dating a student.

Still, I thought about it more last night after I had already sent her the message and I figured I can't stay away from her or pretend that I can. But I can manage how I feel about her enough to be around her. After last night, there's no way I can ignore the fire between us. I think it would hurt worse.

Although I'm glad she agreed to talk I'm not sure what I'm going to tell her. I don't think I can tell her my true feelings but I can at least apologize for my sudden change of heart and tell her I made a mistake. Hopefully, she'll understand and we can continue our friendship from there but I don't expect her to. In fact, I'm counting on her to tell me to eat shit.

Three finally comes and I couldn't be out of the room fast enough. Classes ended almost an hour ago so I've just been doing busy work and looking at my watch every five seconds. I leave the building and get to my car and as I'm about to open my driver's side door when I get a phone call. I open the door as I grab the phone from my pocket. My mom's caller ID flashes across the screen so I answer it as I put my phone to my ear.

"Brenny!" She shouts less than a second after I answer. I've always hated that nickname, she started calling me that as early as I can remember. When I was in 5th grade she came to my school for a band show and shouted that across the auditorium. After that, I was known as "Brenny" until high school. I'm lucky the joke got old after 4 years.

"Hi, mom," I say casually.

"Brenny, it's your dad. He's in the hospital." She explains, her voice shaky. My heart drops at her words knowing that it must be serious. They divorced almost a decade ago and only come together in illness or death.

"What hospital?" I ask as I start my car and put it in the drive.

She tells me the name of the hospital and I start the drive there. I hate that I have to cancel on Delilah but hopefully, she'll understand. I start to get anxious, thinking of my dad and what could be wrong with him, knowing it must be really serious if my mom is with him. My dad has only been in the hospital two other times since I've been alive.

When I was twelve, we were building a tree house and he accidentally put a nail through his hand. I remember the noise he made, it wasn't a scream or a cry. It was more of a groan, I looked over and saw the blood before I realized what happened.

"Brendan, go get your mom." He managed to spit out as he lifted his arm with his other hand. My eyes darted from the blood to the piece of wood in his hand. I didn't comprehend what was happening in front of me and where the blood was coming from.

"BRENDAN! GO!" He ordered again and my brain and body finally responded. My feet moved before my brain could tell them to. I got in the house in seconds and found my mom folding laundry.

"DAD'S BLEEDING!" I shout at her. She dropped the clothes from her hand and rushed to the backdoor. It all happened so fast, at the time it was the most traumatic thing that ever happened to me.

That was the first time I was ever left at home by myself. They hadn't wanted me to come with them so I sat on the couch for hours. I didn't know what to do and I was too nervous to entertain myself so I sat and watched the door until they finally got home. His hand was covered in white gauze but he didn't look upset or shocked like me. He seemed fine and he asked me if I was okay, like I was the one who just a nail through my hand. I couldn't believe how brave he was, if I was the one with a nail in my hand I would have been on the floor screaming and crying.

The other time was when I was sixteen, it had only been a few months since my mom and dad had separated. It was so awkward sitting in the hospital room with my mom as she tried to comfort him and make sure I was okay. They seemed to be tiptoeing around each other the entire time. It turned out to be pneumonia so he was sent home the same day that we all left the hospital, my mom and I went left to get to her car and my dad went right.

That was the last time I can remember seeing those two together. At my high school graduation, they were both there but they managed to stay completely separated as if they were strangers. At my college graduation, my dad hadn't even shown up. He took me to dinner the night off and told me about places I could work. He said he could help me get a job but never did.

After the divorce was finalized my dad all but disappeared from my life, he moved away for a few years while I was in college to follow some dream he said he had of being a jet pilot. He said he hadn't been able to do it before because of his priority to his family but with me being his only kid and my mom wanting nothing to do with him, it was time. He told me this in a letter he mailed me, the week he left. So he went to Ohio for three years and then came back after he flunked out.

When he came back, he married the first woman he saw. Her name was June and she was almost ten years younger than him. They were together for 3 months before he proposed and then divorced less than a month later.

My mom was irritated about it and said he was having his midlife crisis. She said she was glad he was marrying young women and not out buying a boat. A week after his second divorce, he bought ended up buying a boat. He ended up moving into the boat because he couldn't afford it and his mortgage. He still lives in it today and I've never been to visit for that exact reason. When we do see each other, it's over drinks at a random dive bar close to the boat or at some five-star restaurant in the city. He always makes sure to pay and he tells me he just likes the expensive taste but I know it's because he feels guilty for running away and he thinks it will make up for it. It doesn't but I'm not bitter anymore. Hence, why I'm driving halfway across town to make sure he's okay and bailing on what will probably be my only chance to explain myself to Delilah.

When I'm finally at the hospital it takes me forever to find a parking spot. I've never understood why hospitals are busier during the day. As if more accidents happen at noon than at nine p.m. or something. I end up having to park all the way in the back, which makes my walk to the hospital even longer with my anxiety as high as it is right now.