Miraculous One-Shots (Mostly Angst)

Thoughts

I really wanted to read a fic where Adrien goes to Marinette when he's dealing with dark thoughts but I couldn't find one so I wanted to write it instead.

TW: implied suicidal thoughts.

~~~~~

Today was not a good day for Adrien. Not in the everything going wrong type of way - not more than usual that is - but in the feeling like crap and his stupid brain not leaving him alone type. He hadn't had an appetite for breakfast that morning and then there had been an Akuma attack right as he'd gotten to school. Said akuma had been smart, almost getting his miraculous, Ladybug had to save him which was of course normal for him but it served to make his mind yell at him even more.

School itself hadn't been bad, though he kept focusing on his thoughts and spacing out. During lunch break before Adrien left, Nino pulled him aside to ask if he were alright but he'd brushed it off, it was stupid but he hadn't wanted to get into it then. After school, he'd gone home and to his room where he threw himself on his couch with his eyes on the window. Plagg attempted to cheer him up but it had done nothing but get him to think about Chat Noir.

Thinking about his super identity proved to be a bad idea. All he could focus on was the mistakes he tended to make: joking around and distracting Ladybug, messing around instead of taking villains seriously, not thinking things through and making it worse, etc. This train of thought was nothing more than kindling for the fire in his mind. He was regretting not talking to Nino, even though he wouldn't have been able to tell him everything, it still probably would have been better than this.

An image flashed in his kind, one of him jumping through the air and letting himself fall. He squeezed his eyes shut in an attempt to push the image away but that only made it worse. He opened his eyes again and sat up, maybe talking to someone, or even just being around someone, would be a good idea. Marinette was the only person he could think of to talk to, she was a good listener, better than anyone else he knew other than maybe Ladybug.

The few times she'd had time to talk to Akuma victims after the fight was over he'd been witness to how great she was at it. But Ladybug was only around when there was trouble he didn't have a way to contact her outside of the suit. Even if he could contact her, he didn't know if he liked the idea of talking to her about this. She'd been there for all the mistakes, sure, but that didn't mean he wanted to bring them up around her. With the dark thoughts, he had no idea how she'd respond, what she no longer want to work with him? He couldn't risk that. Chat Noir was his only true escape from his life and if she took that away from him he didn't know what would happen.

So Marinette it was. He didn't completely trust himself to travel across the city as Chat Noir so he snuck out of the house as Adrien. He took a bus as close to the bakery as he could and then found a secluded spot to transform. He launched himself up onto the roof landing more heavily than he probably needed to. Now that he was here, he wondered if it was a good idea or not. Too late, the skylight hatch opened, and Marinette stuck her head out. "Chat? What are you doing here?" she asked.

Adrien wishes he'd thought this through a bit more before coming over here but all he'd been able to focus on was getting rid of those stupid thoughts. Which was bad because now, for once, he had no idea what to say. There was a hand on his arm and he looked up at Marinette whose eyes were full of concern, "I'm sorry," he finds himself saying, "I shouldn't have come here, I'll just go." he turns to leave.

Marinette almost sounds panicked when she says "wait!" Adrien looks at her, "it's ok. What's going on?" Marinette asks.

Adrien hesitates, "would it be alright if I just stay here for a bit? With you? I just don't want to be alone right now," admitting that was surprisingly easy.

Marinette smiles and nods, "of course you can. I was planning on drawing up here anyway. Let me just grab something to eat and I'll be right back. Do you want anything?"

Adrien's stomach growled with the reminder that he hadn't eaten all day, "yes please." Marinette told him that she'd be right back before ducking back into her bedroom. Adrien took a seat on the floor and stared out at the city, not thinking about anything at all. Soon Marinette returned with a plate of assorted baked goods which she handed to him before taking the chair. Adrien scooted over so he could watch her draw as he ate.

It wasn't perfect, he knew that but being around someone, even just in silence helped a lot more than he thought it would. Later, he'd have to talk to someone but for now this would suffice.

~~~~~

Don't you love when you start out to write one thing and then it turns into something completely different?

Started 1-3-2023
Finished 1-5-2023
Word count: 856