The Moons

Chapter 4: Shadows of Loss and Remembrance

*December 25, 2029* *7:30 PM*

It has been one month since Sawyer went through his traumatic incident, which unfolded a series of behavioral changes in Sawyer toward his family. It has been a month since Sawyer underwent surgery on his knee, and he still hasn't been able to walk a step; he has refused to even try. All the child has done during that month was be in his room all alone in his bed, remembering the incident, and blaming himself for not speaking out sooner; Sawyer rarely left his room. Despite it being Christmas, the most favorite time of year for any child, Sawyer wasn't into the holiday spirit; while wearing jeans, a Christmas sweater, and his Christmas-themed shoes, Sawyer laid on his bed facing down in the silent bedroom, gazing at the walls as tears slowly streamed down his eyes. All that the child could do was remember the incident; Sawyer could see and hear the moments he got hurt as if he was still there. What made the child feel more guilty was remembering all the missed opportunities when he could've spoken out but decided not to. As Sawyer kept thinking about not speaking out, more tears streamed down his face as his guilt increased; the child buried his face onto his pillow as if he was trying to disappear to a place where he could stop having those feelings.

Communication with Sawyer had become challenging since the incident, as he refused to listen to Henry and harbored fear and shame in the presence of his male relatives. While Ella sometimes managed to break through to him, the rest of the family struggled to connect with him. It was his mother who held the key to understanding his needs and could effectively communicate with him. As Sawyer sobbed quietly into his pillow in the quiet bedroom, the door was opened gently, and Sawyer's mother entered the room.

"Knock, Knock" Beth says as she stood by the door. Sawyer's response to his mother's knock was usually moving his head and facing the direction of Ella's bed. The head movement was a sign to Beth that Sawyer was awake and open for company. "Hey" Beth says

"Hey" Sawyer says while softly crying and not looking at his mother

Entering on Sawyer while crying became the new normal, but it always broke Beth's heart and took her by surprise. Beth froze by the door for a moment before slowly entering the room and closing the door behind her. She then walked toward her son; upon reaching his bedside, Beth brushed her hand up her son's back as she sat on the bed next to him. Sawyer had been in his bedroom for hours; his position never changed as fear and guilt kept building inside him but seeing his mother's face comforted him. Beth stared at her son with a friendly smile while rubbing her thumb on Sawyer's left red cheek.

"What is it, sweetie?" Beth asks

"[Crying] I can't stop it. I want it to stop but I can't" Sawyer responds as he turned his head away from his mother and buried it into his pillow, sobbing

"I know you do" Beth says as she moved her hand to Sawyer's head, gently playing with his hair. "There's a way for you to forget about it...not permanently, just for tonight. Maybe tomorrow as well" Beth says

"What?" Sawyer asks as he looked at his mother

"Honey, it's Christmas. Your cousins, your aunts, your uncles, your grandparents are all downstairs having fun. And they all miss you. Why don't you go join them" Beth responds

"No. [Sniffles] I can't have fun. I lied to everyone, I'm a bad boy" Sawyer responds

"No, you're not. No one thinks that for a second. Sure, we don't like it that you lied, but we understand why you did, and that's OK. [Sighs] Please sweetie, come downstairs. We're going to start opening presents soon" Beth says

"I'm scared" Sawyer says

Sawyer told his mother he was scared of doing everything for a month. Each time, Beth promised that she wouldn't take no for an answer and have him leave his room and overcome his fear, but throughout those times, Beth saw genuine fear in her son's eyes, and her intention immediately faded away; this time was no different. Beth repositioned herself, resting her back on the headboard before wrapping her arms around Sawyer, helping him sit up, and kissing his head.