Inked Dragons

The Gum-Chewing Waitress's Starring Moment

Harry landed just inside the café on Tottenham Court Road. And the gum-chewing waitress screamed from where she was sitting opposite Barnabas Cuffe, petrified by the sudden dramatic turn in events in her normally very mundane life. Thankfully the café was empty apart from her and Barnabas Cuffe because he turned the door sign to closed and turned off all the fluorescent-yellow lights. He'd also cast a thorough cleaning spell over all the Formica table tops to remove the film of grease that sat on everything.

'Sorry, madam,' Harry said with a wry smile. 'Hello, Barnabas,' he said amiably.

'How did you...?' said the waitress.

'Magic,' he said with a grin.

The waitress recognised the man in the long grey coat from when he'd visited the café before. She thought that he didn't look like he was on drugs but she supposed you never knew with these things. He slid into the chair beside her and she noticed he didn't seem at all disconcerted by Mr Cuffe's very odd attire. Whereas, she felt decidedly hemmed in by both men and was uncomfortable about the whole situation.

He said without preamble, 'I'd like to talk to you about this woman who disappeared—'

'You've been in here before. You've met her here, that woman in the lime green?'

'Yes, I have. What can you tell me?'

'Are you a policeman?' she asked, suspiciously.

'Yes.'

'I've never seen a policeman wearing leather trousers before,' she said, eyeing him up and down haughtily.

'Well, I am a policeman,' Harry said.

'He definitely is,' confirmed Barnabas Cuffe, as if that sealed the deal.

'You didn't show me your credentials. You need to do that first, then I'll talk to you.'

'He doesn't need to show you his credentials,' said Barnabas Cuffe indignantly. 'He's Harry Potter.'

Harry ignored Barnabas and fished in his pocket to retrieve his Auror badge.

After inspecting the ID card and badge for some time, the waitress said, 'it says Head Auror here, what's that, then?'

'Oh, when did you get promoted?' asked Barnabas Cuffe, barely covering his excitement because that was another news story in the making. 'There hasn't been a Ministry announcement yet.'

'No, I've been away on holiday. Kingsley hasn't even told me officially yet so I don't suppose it'll be announced until Monday. I only heard on the grapevine'

'But you've got a new badge already,' said Barnabas.

'I suppose I did,' said Harry, who hadn't really acknowledged it. 'Must have just updated by itself as soon as the Minister confirmed the promotion internally on Friday.'

'That's interesting,' said Barnabas, thinking that Mr Potter really was quite affable and down to earth and not at all how people had perceived him to be. He was wondering which headline to run with the following day: that Harry Potter was the new Head Auror or that Rita Skeeter had been kidnapped. 'I never knew that's how things happened.'

'Me neither—'

'Do you mind?' said the gum-chewing waitress slightly petulantly. 'You haven't answered my question.'

They both looked at her blankly.

'What's a Head Auror?' she said.

'Oh, that. He's the chief of our policemen,' said Barnabas, still indignant about her lack of respect for Harry Potter.