The hussle and bussel of school of school courtyard is not helping my pounding head.
" Sam, so you look pale. " said Dean. She's me best friend. Her mom and dad thought she was a boy then she was born. They did not have any girl names so they stuck with Dean. I've know her since we were in kindergarten.
" Yeah I agree with Dean, you don't look good. " Alishya agree with her. A small sea of heads bobbed up and down in agreement. My friends know me too well. I feel horrible. My head is pounding, my stomach is in knots, and I see so many people that I haven't seen in years. I don't even try to tell them otherwise. Ugh I have only been here 5 minuets and I am not even in a class. God today is going to be awful. I then see a familiar face gave that really startled me. It was the kid from the swimming pool! Over the summer we when swimming and this really cute guy complimented me on my fall out boy shirt. Since I have dyed hair I couldn't swim in the actual pool I sat on the side with Alishya. Little did I knowAlishya knew him. She said his name was Thomas. He when to a school called Galileo. But I did the think he would go to Palmer. God I just might up chuck in the middle of the courtyard. Oh shiat. Oh God. Oh no. He's walking this way. I just made eye contact. I can't look away. I think going to vomit.
"Hey, do I know you? You seem really familiar." Thomas asked me as he firmly placed his feet and inch from mine. Oh god what do I say? Do I say yes, you don't really know me you just complimented my shirt and my friend knows you and told me everything about. Or do I say no. Ugh boys are so confusing. I just don't know what to say! I feel like I'm going to die.
" Sorta. You complimented my fall out boy shirt. But we didn't get to really know each other. " I responded. Oh god I hope that was okay. I think know I might get sick. He pauses stareing. Oh not I sounded creepy. Abort mission. ABORT MISSION!!!!! I am actually going to vomit. Then, by the grace of God, he makes an understanding face.
" That actually makes sense. I knew that I have seen you before. But I couldn't think know of your name. That why me and my friends we busy chatting. We were trying to remember your name. My name is Thomas by the way. Nice to meet you. " Thomas responded. I heart leaped into my throat. Yay! I didn't sound creepy! Success! I break out into a small happy dance. Thomas is just staring at me. I finish then say
" I didn't want to sound creepy and I didn't. So I was just celebrating for one in my life not sounding creepy. I'm Samanta. These freaks call me Sam. " I try to clear up. I am praying that I do think just chase him off. Maybe that did sound creepy. He just busts out into contagious laughter. Oh, I do like a guy with a laugh that's contagious. I start giggling.
Then all of a sudden the bell starts going off. Welp I guess it's time to go in. Time to start that supposedly best 4 years of my life. We'll see. Thomas is walking awkwardly close to me. He whips out his class list. " I wonder if we have any classes with one another." he says. I look at the list. It's seems all to familiar. I whip out mine. Oh. My. Jesus. I have almost all the same classes with him. I feel like I'm going to vomit. I can't believe it. I'm not the person this usually happens to. Usually other people have this happen to. Not that I mind being in almost all the same classea as cute boy for my first year if high school. But that gives me 5 times more opportunities it make a fool of myself in front of him. I don't want to chase the cute boy away. I want the cute boy to stay. I stutter. I don't have words. I may have a panic attack. I whip out my phone and start the instructions. I feel curious eyes looking at me. I open my eyes. Thomas had a concerned look. I just show him my phone. This is not what I wanted. I close my eyes. I wish I could dissappear. I felt 1 inch tall. I then could feel strong arms wrap around my shoulders.
" Hey, having anxiety and panic attacks is normal. It's nothing to be ashamed of. Those who have it deserve all the respect in the world. " Thomas whispers in my ear. I look up and give him a weak smile.
" ahem. Ahem. AHEM!!!! EARTH TO SAM!! WE HAVE CLASS! " Dane shrieks. Oh oops. He was there. Well I mean I am his only best friend here.
"You saw that?" I question. Of course he did. Dane will be on my heels all day. Not because I'm his best friend for right now. But he's really overprotective. He'll be stalking me till I'm a well senior. But it clicked. Class. I have class. Oh wait, I HAVE CLASS!!!! My heart starts thumping. I can't be late. Dane grabs my arm and drags me to class. I grab Thomas arm. Since we all have the same class. We dodge and weave everyone else. Teachers are giving us understanding looks. We make a sharp left. Dane slows down. I peer around him. Oh were in class. Okay. Everyone turned and looked at us. My cheek turn hot. Everyone is standing. We must be getting setting assignments. The bell goes off. Everyone is chattering. I heard a mixture of familiar voices float over to me. Some from Mann some from Steele. But it's some what soothing. I know everyone here. I can say something stupid and not be judged. I found Jules, Megan, and Jonathan. My girlie friends drag me off. They start a game of 20 questions. They all revolve around the new cutie of mine. I try and answer them as best as I can. The guys are learning about each other. I see Dane and Jonathan cross their arms and start staring at Thomas. Oh God. They are surrounding him like he's a guppy in a shark tank. They are like my older brothers. Way too overprotective. I break away to save Thomas. I'm going to pray that my friends don't scare off the cute boy. Thomas gave me a look a relief. I saved him. I shoo off Dane and Jonathan. Then the teacher walks in. She says good morning. And starts seating us. All of these names are ones I know and belong to people I know. My name comes up. I am next to my elementary school crush named Lance. Behind someone who had a crush on me named Ike. Then I hear Thomas. I look over. He's next to me. Oh no. It ends up that Dane and Jonathan are behind us. Really? WHY!!!! WHY DO YOU HAVE TO PUT ME NEXT TO TWO PEOPLE THAT I HAVE OR HAD A CRUSH ON? WHAT HAVE I DONE TO GET THIS SWEET HELL PLACED UPON ME!? Ugh.
" Hey, um, did you go to Steele? " I heard a small voice whisper. I look over. It's Lance. I now remember why I liked him. He's freaking adorable. But I really like Thomas.
" Yeps. Are you Lance? " I ask. I know the answer. But I mean hey you never know.
" Yeah. " he answer with a nod of the head then Ike turns around.
" Sam ? Is that you? " Ike asks with a cocked head. I feel Thomas's eyes piercing me. Oh great. I'm gonna hope this doesn't make our this go sour.
" Yeps. Your Ike right? " I try I make sure. I feel a small tap my arm. I look over poor Thomas. He looks really hurt. I open my mouth to explain but the the teacher starts explaining procedures. I feel like a hole has just been bored into me. I feel horrible. I don't have any interest in Ike and Lance. I like Thomas. I was catching up with some old friends. I haven't talked to them in years. Which is a large step for me. I was incredibly nervous to see old friends. I had a panic attack the last time I saw anyone else from Steele. It was my first panic attack. It was not fun. I listen on to the teacher gather the information given to me. I can't get this off my mine. I really do like Thomas. Lance is old news. Ike probably has a girl. I don't like them. I wish I could telepathically tell him. I can't write a note. If I got caught by the teacher that wouldn't be getting off on the right foot for the first day.
"Okay class, you have 15 minutes left of class. You were pretty good for your first day back so I'll let you chit-chat for the time being. " the teacher says. I automatically turn to Thomas. I reach out to touch his arm. I get up.
" Hey those guys over there? " I ask. Thomas bobs his head up and down slowly.
" They are only my friends. I don't like them as anymore than friends. If you are worried about them, don't be. " I say and give a week smile. Thomas looks up at me. He looks relieved. Yay! That's the look I was hoping for.
" Okay. I trust you. Let's go talk with them shall we? " he answers. I nod my head. I sit down and flip back around to see Lance and Ike and Thomas stands up and next to me leaning on my desk. Ike and Lance are looking at me then Thomas then me. What? I feel like he ethier thinks I'm too good for him or he's too go for me. I feel like one of us should be insulted. But I'm not sure who.
" So how's life been for you two? " I ask. Ike cautiously looks at Thomas again.
" Good. Man, Sam you've changed. You look so different. " Ike answers. Well I mean the last time he saw me I had long hair, way different music taste, and purple glasses that I only wore if I had to see far ways. Now I have a blue and brown pixie cut, love screamo music, and have blue cat eye glasses. I mean yeah. Ike looks the same. He has only gotten taller. Same with Lance. Has anyone else at Steele changed?!
" I agree with Ike. Sam, I wouldn't have know it was you if she didn't say your name."
I do have a pretty weird name for now a days. I mean how many people name their kid Samanta now a days? Not to mention the weird last name that only the rarest of the rare teachers know to to say. It's Rogosich. This teacher all ready has 10 bonus point for getting it right first try. I feel me cheeks get hot. I feel like I'm getting starred at. Not my hair or face. But my chest. Man, can't I have an hour of being at school on the first day and an not get starred at by some perverted kid? I quickly open my backpack and get my hoodie. If they won't stop then I'll given nothing to look at. Oh gross. My hoodie smells like wet ferrets. I thought it was just washed. Awe man. I should have grabbed my new Pierce The Veil hoodie. I knew it. I knew I should have.
I then feel a sharp tap on my other shoulder. I am almost afraid to look over. I feel myself tense up. I look over. It's someone else from Steele. It's someone else I liked. His name was Colin. I didn't know he was in this class. Crap. Seeing him was the reason I had a panic attack the first time. I saw him. I felt all the embarrassment as when he rejected me in elementary. I feel my eyes sting. I can't breath. I have basically forgotten. I feel my eyes get heavy. What? What's going on? I feel my body seemingly shut down. I feel my body falling foward. Everything goes black.
