Ladies' Choice (re-uploading SOON)

SINCERELY, YOUR STRANGER

Dear Daniella,

It sounds like we're a lot alike and I wish that were a compliment, but I guess it's more like a cautionary tale. But at least we're on the same page (pun intended). If we meet in real life, knowing what you have on me, I would simply be forced to dig a six-foot hole and bury myself there.

I'd be so embarrassed I wouldn't even want you to visit my grave.

So, let's never meet. 

Mostly because I don't want these letters to end. I look forward to checking that old broken locker, hoping to see your handwriting across the top. I think about it all the way to school. I think about it after I drop my letter off. I think about it during class, wondering if you're reading mine.

If that means I've admitted to thinking about you all the time, I'm going to request that you pretend you suddenly lost the ability to read or that specific section written in another language...

Now we're back to your regular scheduled letter. 

For your weather report, if you're reading this on Wednesday expect a light misting and more of a torrential downpour tomorrow. Things should clear up by the weekend, so don't cancel any plans. In exchange for your weather report, I would like another movie recommendation. I've watched The Grand Budapest Hotel and really loved it. I'm also open to podcasts and music... because I don't know anything about that either.

If it were up to my mom, she would have never given me a phone or a car. The phone gives me too many resources and ideas. The car allows me to get away from the house. All of the above terrifies her. She looks at me like I'm a ticking time bomb as if I'm gonna go off at any moment and leave nothing behind. 

Your lies are actually wild to me because I assumed those were the only few things I knew about you.  To be fair black is your most worn color and I won't say who started the rumor, but for a long time, I assumed you were descended from a family of vampires. So, reading horror is more like reading historical fiction if you think about it. And you don't seem like the go out to school dances type, but the kind to protest them out of principle. I can see why people think those things. I can also see why it's important to point them out as lies.

Since no one tries to talk to you or get to know you, none of those assumptions really seem fair to you. But I know better. Your outside presentation isn't what I imagine, when I'm thinking about you. I mean, when it was finally sunny again after so long, I thought about you. You remind me of warmth. The breeze passed my face as I stood in the sunshine, and I wondered if you were having a good day. People don't know what they're missing.

My lies might have an overarching theme, which might not have been a part of the assignment, but a universal truth about me is that I am extra and what might be too much for other people is me achieving the bare minimum:

1. Everything at school comes to me super easy.

2. I'm great at thinking of the right thing to say.

3. I'm a do-it-all kind of gal.

Can you guess my theme? I have this whole barely keeping it together thing going on in the inside, but on the outside I'm easy, breezy, beautiful: gay girl. The biggest lie about me is who everybody thinks I am. If people get too close, I think they'd be disillusioned.

It's why I think the whole "just be yourself" is a load of crap. Everybody's opinion of myself is different. Sorry I ruined your part of the guessing game. I don't think anyone has the guts to just be their totally honest self's. If there is such a rare and powerful creature, I would have no choice but to worship them the way they deserve.

As an apology gift for being too competitive, please refer to the next page of this letter, where I jotted down the things I overheard people say around school. Not to make any assumptions, but I think you'll enjoy them. My people watching has increased. You're a bad influence.

Sincerely,

Your Stranger

(P.S. You don't have to reply, but I'd like you to).

(P.S.S. Here's what I heard this week): 

1. Girl in my math class: "If I could choose my next life, I'd want to be a slug. You're just chillin' moving slow and you like, don't even care."

Her friend: "But couldn't you also be a sloth and be less slimy—?"

Girl: "Ew, gross! Sloths are so gross. Don't they have chlamydia?"

Her patient friend: "You're thinking of koalas."

Girl: "No, I know what a sloth looks like."

2. Girl at lunch: (I made up the name because I've forgotten them, but here's the gist). "So, Becca messaged Dan about the dance, asking him to go, but here's the thing she messaged the wrong Dan. She has two Dan's on her phone. And here's the other thing, wrong Dan said yes and like an hour later, the right Dan asked her out despite the dance being like Ladies' Choice or whatever. And look, she said yes. So now, Becca is going to the dance with two guys named Dan and she's not sure what to do because Wrong Dan is wrong, but he has a car and promised to get a haircut so like now his looks aren't totally tragic, but she did French Right Dan over the summer and said it was a good time. What was I saying? Oh, right. Anyways, yeah, we might have a ride to the dance."

3. Penelope Harris (While constructing a dance playlist): "I asked someone to the dance."

Her friend, Nisha: "That's great!"

Penelope: "Not great. They didn't think I was asking and encouraged me to ask who I liked, not understanding I meant them. I'm just... It's like I experience secondhand embarrassment for myself."

Nisha: "You can be third with me and Allison."

Penelope: "Okay. Firsthand embarrassment."

4. Guy in hallway: "I think Tyle's messing me with me. He wore the same shirt as me, which like I can understand one accident, but then he pulled out his wallet and dude, he has my wallet too. What do you think that means?"

Loman: "I think it means you have the same shirt and wallet and I don't. Did I miss something? Are you guys mad at me?"

Guy: "What? No." A long sigh happened. "Buddy, I'll take you to the store and show you where I got it."

Loman: "Nice."

(And there's the highlights! Expertly curated just for you).