Chimera Awakened

Chapter Thirteen

Weeks passed and I watched as Winter bowed down before Spring. The trees were covered in thousands of green buds and grass started to rise from the Earth in earnest. I delighted in feeling the awe and wonder of newly hatched birds as they emerged from their shells.

I spent my mornings strengthening my body with Graham and the afternoons strengthening my gift of willing with Hale. I could now disarm a man twice my size, free myself from various holds and connect to human minds from yards away.

Hale personally vetted each guard and asked if they were willing to help. They all agreed, happy to serve Arghan in any way they could. I willed them to do all sorts of things, even when I couldn't see them. My favorite thing to do was will them to act like birds soaring through the skies. I felt it wasn't too embarrassing and was a good test of my gift's strength.

I continually fought feelings of guilt and self loathing for my part in forcing someone's mind to open to me and silence their autonomy. All the guards assured me they were eager, even proud, to help in my training. They saw me as a weapon to be treated with respect and reverence. I despised it. I just wanted to be Evelyn Kentala.

While my days were spent training with Graham and Hale, my nights were spent with Broderick. We were insatiable and spent nearly every night together. Sometimes he was out all night, shut away with military officials, only to emerge in the morning looking haggard. I wished I could will his pain away but knew he wouldn't want it.

So, I eased his pain in other ways. I delighted in bringing him pleasure and he worshiped my body. Sometimes we came together in my room, other times in his room. But, every time, we fell asleep with our bodies pressed close together, even when we didn't have sex.

That was all it was, I kept reminding myself. Just sex. It couldn't be more. I refused to let it be more. When he reached out to me in the cloak of night, pulled me into a random small room to ravish me in the middle of the day or pounded me against the wall, he always looked at me in a way afterward that made my heart squeeze. I was afraid to reach into his mind and know what he was feeling. In the back of my mind, I knew, but never acknowledged it.

I always said or did something to make him smirk just so I wouldn't see that heartbreaking look on his face. I didn't deserve to see that look. I was protecting him from me. A coward. A monster. A weapon capable of stopping a man's heart in his chest.

"Where ya off to, girl?" Rich asked from behind me just as I finished rechecking the last cinch on Alastor's saddle.

I turned to him and smiled as I said, "Just a nice gallop in the fields."

"Yep, right on time," he said, mimicking looking at a watch.

He didn't actually have one. He told me as long as the sun was out, it was time to work.

"What do you mean?" I asked, furrowing my brows.

He chuckled. "You take him out there every few days. Usually when you're frowning or grimacing more than smiling."

I just turned and fiddled with the straps on Alastor's bridle. I did take him out when the training became too much, the guilt too suffocating. My emotions were quieted when I was in the trees and hills, surrounded by fluttering birds and bounding rabbits.

"Didn't mean to pry," Rich said quietly.

"You're not," I assured him, turning to lay a hand on his arm. "It's just... quieter out there."

"Yeah," he drawled, "I suppose it is." He gave me a kind smile and said, "Have a good ride."

I nodded and kissed his cheek, earning me an annoyed huff to disguise his pleasure. I just smiled, mounted Alastor and rode away.