Chapter 4

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A/N Hello my lovelies! another chapter for you. Conversations with my much loved author friend has given me so much muse to write so Makirasan this is again for you. I adore you! This story is fiction and any resemblance to the people mentioned is purely coincidental. I post here and on AO3 and my permission must be obtained before posting elsewhere. Feedback is my muse so if you like what I write, please let me know. If you want to be alerted when I update, you can follow _eyes_wideshut on twitter. Now hopefully go and enjoy this!


Chapter 4

The newly connected took some time to get to know each other and the more Hyunjin learned about Felix, the more he liked the younger man. He was the type of man Hyunjin had never even dreamed existed for real. Because they shared their minds, it was impossible for either of them to hide anything or lie to the other or even themselves. Every thought they had was completely shared whether they wanted it to be or not. It took time to get accustomed to. It was an invasion of privacy on an epic scale but because neither of them had wanted this, they didn't blame the other and learned to live with it or at least beyond an errant thought or two.

Felix had started putting off Jacob's attempts to come over. He felt bad but he didn't want a repeat of last time. It was awkward and uncomfortable for him to have sex that way with the other man in his head and feeling everything he felt. Hyunjin understood and talked to him about it some. After a few nervous tries, Hyunjin resumed his usual stress relief activities. He tried to do it when Felix was asleep but wasn't always successful; during those times, Felix tried hard to focus on something else. They didn't talk about it outside of those times and other than an errant thought during, they didn't talk about it then either.

Felix was becoming very curious though. He had done things to himself of course he had, who didn't? But even then it was quick and perfunctory; he had never lingered to enjoy it the way Hyunjin seemed to. The older man allowed himself to think about what he was doing, he drew it out and enjoyed it. It did relieve his stress in a way Felix's same acts never had. It made Felix begin to wonder if he ever had truly enjoyed sex. Your body, everyone's bodies are something to celebrate. Enjoy the feelings and take your time. Learn what feels good to you. You deserve to be wanted, even by yourself, Lixie. I like Lixie. He could feel Hyunjin smile at his like of the nickname. I like Lixie too. Felix gave a giggle that Hyunjin had found adorable from the first time he had heard it.

Felix had caught himself up on all their music videos and had listened to every song. He was working his way through all the shows and behind the scenes stuff he could find. When he had clocked out for the day on a Tuesday, he continued his search for merchandise. He wanted a Stray Kids hoodie and a few hard copy albums. He had an order ready to go but suddenly Hyunjin stopped him. Not from there. They aren't reputable. Go here. He directed Felix to the site. The stuff was more expensive on this site but Hyunjin assured him it was quality. It was their actual merchandise and not a knock off which apparently there were a lot of. This is where our family and friends get things. He hesitated.

You know that you don't have to order anything, right? But I want it. Felix said, confused. I meant I could just send you the sweatshirt, it's not that... Absolutely not. Felix's thought was more stern than Hyunjin had ever heard it. He could see the swirl of absolute horror that their connection could be used to exploit Hyunjin even in that small way. I will never ask you for anything like that. If I want to be a fan then I should enjoy supporting you and your success. Felix, you really don't... Jinnie stop. I can and will order what I want. That conversation made Hyunjin's respect for Felix grow tenfold. He had never met anyone so pure and that it was genuine and not for show blew his mind. Sometimes I can't believe you are actually real. Everyone has an agenda but not you. He thought in awe. No. I don't.

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