Forget Me Not

Chapter 1 - Logan

Logan

I didn't know I was dead.

When I opened my eyes, it was unbelievably dark, the area around me so black, it was as if I had not opened them at all. I moved my arms in front of me, though I could not see their presence. I twisted my body, reaching downward to feel the ground beneath me. I extended my arms toward the surface, my fingers clenching around a fistful of loose earth. I spent several moments blinking in an attempt to gain sight, unsuccessful each time. Finally, I made the decision to turn my gaze above, where I saw, through that dense, impossible darkness, a small circle of dim light. I was watching this light, the beam barely piercing the surface, when I noticed the rippling of the light source; the light vibrating like a mirage, as if I was underwater.

Immediately, as my surroundings became known, I started gasping for air. I felt my throat constricting, my lungs filling with the murky water. My chest burned with each swallow, each attempt to take a breath. I grasped my throat, trying to ease the pain as I kicked at the ground and propelled myself upward. My arms flailed, my mind focused on breathing more than swimming. Despite the pain, the burn that filled my lungs, I continued to kick at the water. I held my mouth shut to keep from choking, waiting for my time to come. This is it, I thought. I'm going to drown. My lungs screamed in desperation, my head pounding from lack of oxygen. The circle of light gradually grew wider, the source nearly blinding to my eyes. I pushed, using every ounce of my strength to propel myself through the water. Just as my body became weak and I felt as if I was going to sink, my head broke the surface and I gasped, inhaling the harsh sunlight and the fresh summer air.

I am alive.

"Help!" I called out, swinging my tired arms above my head. "Someone help me!" I choked on the water, waving my arms at the group of people settled along the sand.

There was a family; a mother, lounging on a towel; two children, building a sandcastle; a father, playing fetch with a dog along the water. They were a mere twenty feet away from me, yet they didn't acknowledge my existence at all.

"Help me!" I yelled again, desperate. I choked on water as my head bobbled along the surface. After several seconds of watching the family carry on with their lives, ignoring the man drowning in front of their eyes, I started to swim. I kicked my legs, propelling my body forward. Inch by inch, I made my way to the shore.

My toes met the sand, and suddenly, I didn't feel tired anymore. It was as if I hadn't just saved myself from drowning, as if I hadn't swam from the depths of Hurley Lake with asthma-ridden lungs and poor upper arm strength.

I looked down at myself, at the jeans and t-shirt that dripped and hung from my body. I wiggled my bare toes deeper into the sand, but I couldn't feel the sensation.

"Mom, I'm going swimming!" My eyes darted up to the young boy who dropped his trowel at the base of the sandcastle and slipped off his sandals. His mother sent him off with a wave, and then he was running straight toward me. I didn't have time to move, so I closed my eyes.

I felt a jolt as he ran right through me.

I stifled my scream with my hands, but when I peered out from beneath my pruney palms, the boy was running into the lake and his family was still on the beach and no one noticed me at all.

What's happening?

I needed answers.

"Hello?" I said, my voice shaking. No one moved.

I ran toward the father, who had knelt down ten feet away from me to give his dog a treat.

"Sir, can you help me?" I asked. I reached for him, and as my hand met his shoulder, he stood up. My fingers disintegrated into pixels in front of my eyes. He brushed past me, each point of contact turning me into dust.

"Honey, did we bring any snacks?" The man called to his wife, as if he didn't feel me there at all.

I ran toward the woman, who began to search through her bag for food. I reached for her arms, but my hands closed into fists around themselves. The air filled with pixels again, as if someone had blown dandelion seeds in front of me. "Hello, can you hear me?" I said frantically. I knelt by her side, and I waited, until she looked into my eyes.

Only she looked right through me.

"Here's some chips." She held out a hand, an aluminum bag of Doritos, and punched them through my stomach, to her husband over my shoulders.

I fell to the ground, rolling away from them. "Help me!" I screamed again, tears springing to my eyes. "Please, is this some kind of joke? Someone help me!"

The man leaned down, gave his wife a kiss on the cheek. He walked away from us, opening his bag of chips. The wife grabbed a book from her bag and began to read.

"Ma'am, can you hear me?" I jumped up, on my hands and knees, until my face was inches from her ear. "Ma'am!"

She flipped to a new page.

Oh no.

I felt the world moving around me, as if I was the single shade of gray stuck in a kaleidoscope of swirling colors. I fell to the ground beside her, the woman who flipped the pages of her book and stuck her hand through my body, turning me into scattered sprinkles each time she reached into her bag for a pistachio. I put my head in my hands and tried so hard to cry, but no tears would fall.

"Do you like my castle, Mommy?" I looked up at the little girl who sat proudly beside her sandcastle, awaiting the approval from her mother. The mother flipped another page of the book and ignored her.

I watched sadness take over the little girl's features. Her smile turned into a frown, her head bent low, her blonde hair falling in front of her eyes as she sniffled.

I hurried toward her. I sat beside her castle, admiring the detailed towers and turrets. "I love your castle," I said to her. I waved a hand in front of her face, desperate for acknowledgement. "Did you hear me? I really like your castle. You did a great job." I reached for her hand, the pixelated pieces of me dissipating as soon as I touched her.

The little girl wiped at her eyes, looking at her castle that she assumed was being ignored. She didn't know that there was someone with her who admired her work, who appreciated her craftsmanship.

At last, I had an idea. I spotted a plastic flag on the ground. The missing piece for her castle. Surely, it would make her smile. I reached for the flag and placed it at the top of the castle, on the tallest turret, and my breath caught in my throat when I noticed her wide, blue eyes following my hand. I pressed it into the sand, but I accidentally knocked a chunk of the tower loose. Quickly, I grabbed the sand and patted it back into place, smoothing and adjusting it to the pristine condition it was in before.

When I was finished, I looked at the little girl again. "It's perfect, isn't it?" I asked. I expected a smile, a glimmer of happiness in her eyes.

What I received instead was a blood curdling scream.