the thmgau rewrite

Banana Mayhem

"Never thought I'd be breaking into a banana restaurant, but here we are."

    Cherry pulled their van up to the parking lot of Banana Man's Banana Land. They had waited in Leslie's apartment beforehand until the restaurant closed, so it was dark out now. She & Leslie exited the car & approached the entrance.

    "Alright! We're here! What do we do now?" Leslie asked.
"Watch & learn, my friend." Cherry grinned, taking out a bobby pin. "The door's made of glass, so we could just break it open, but that would be too obvious. Lockpicking is the way to go."

    She stuck the bobby pin into the lock & finangled it a little bit, eventually getting the door open.

    "I didn't know you could lockpick."
"I can't. I had no idea what I was doing that entire time."
"Ah."

Now that the door was officially open, Cherry & Leslie walked in with ease. They looked around the area for anything that could be of use to them.

"Cherry, look!" Leslie whispered, pointing toward a door behind the counter. "Door!"
"Yup. That's a door."
"There's probably something behind it!"
"Yup. That's how doors work."

Leslie hopped over the counter while Cherry walked around it like a normal person would. Leslie reached for the door handle &, to their surprise, actually opened the door.

"Why is this door unlocked?"
"Beats me. Probably a stupid idea to keep it unlocked though." Cherry shrugged. "I'm just glad I don't have to do that lockpicking thing again."

The two of them looked through the door. It was a flight of stairs that went down.

"Huh. Stairs."
"This isn't suspicious at all!"

They started walking down the stairs, being cautious with every step. It wasn't a very long walk down, & eventually they made it down to the bottom, where another door greeted them.

"Oh, awesome. Another door." Cherry groaned.
"If luck is on our side, it won't be locked." Leslie said, opening the door. Again, it was not locked.

The two of them stuck their heads inside the door, & saw a most confusing sight. Rows & rows of bananas, with arms & legs (but no faces), just standing there. They spotted a work-desk off to the side with a weird device on top of it, with a banana painted on it.

"What in the world..?"
"Why is this under a banana restaurant?"

Cherry & Leslie quietly entered the room, making sure not to make any sudden noises. Leslie stepped up to the work-desk & grabbed the device that was on it.

"What are you doing?!" Cherry whispered. "You don't know what that thing does!"
"I just wanna get a closer look!" Leslie whispered back, rotating the device in their hands.

Very quickly, they found a dial on the device that had 2 options: Banana & Human. It was currently set to Banana.

"Cherry," Leslie whispered. "I think I have an idea."
"Oh no."

Leslie walked up to Cherry & showed her the device, & the dial. "I think this thing can turn people into bananas."
"Why would anyone want to turn people into bananas?"
"Hell if I know, but there's a 'human' setting too! Maybe if we-"
"HEY!"

Cherry & Leslie turned to the right. It was Pim, standing there. They must not have noticed it before, but there was another door in the room they were in, which they presumed Pim was in before.

"What do you two think you're doing?!"
"Uh.. nothing?"
"It doesn't LOOK like nothin' to me! & let go of that device!"

Pim stormed up & snatched the device out of Leslie's hands.

"What even IS that thing, anyway?" Cherry asked.
"Oh, this?" Pim held up the device. "This is my Bananainator! You can probably guess what it does."
"It.. turns people into bananas?"
"Precisely! & that's exactly what all the bananas in this room are from!"
"So you're behind all the people going missing!"

Pim laughed. "Yup!"
"But.. why?"
"Well, when I was just a young banana- hey, wait a minute! You're not getting a sad backstory outta me! BANANAS, APPREHEND THEM!" he pointed at Cherry & Leslie.

All at once, the bananas turned to 'face' Cherry & Leslie, & started running after them.

"Leslie, run!!"

They started booking it out of the room & back upstairs. The bananas were climbing up the stairs as fast as they could, but Cherry & Leslie got up there first & slammed the door shut, leaning their backs against it.

"Jesus christ. Out of everything I expected to happen tonight, being chased by literal bananas was not it."
"I think I'm gonna have nightmares about this tonight."

Cherry & Leslie caught their breath.

"So.. what's the plan now, Les?"
"I.."

A thump at the door.

"Are those things trying to bust down the door?!"
"What else would that thump be?"

Another thump.

"C'mon, Les! What are we gonna do?!"
"Um... uh.."

Leslie was trying to think of something, ANYTHING. It caught a glance of its necklace. Suddenly, it came to them.

"The necklaces!" Leslie perked up. "We gotta get in those outfits again!"
"..I am not doing that."
"Would you rather get devoured by LITERAL BANANAS? This might be our only chance at survival here!"

Cherry huffed. "Fine. But just this once."

The two of them pulled on their necklaces, & just like that: they were back in the outfits, weapons in hand.

"Over the counter!" Leslie hopped over the counter again. Cherry did the same.

The door fell off its hinges as the bananas started pouring into the room. Cherry & Leslie readied their weapons.

"This thing's.. still heavy." Cherry groaned, struggling to keep her sword up.
"You'll get the hang of it! Probably."

The bananas, despite not having faces, knew exactly where to go. They lunged themselves toward Cherry & Leslie. Leslie used their scythes to slice the bananas in half. Once Cherry maintained a stable hold on the sword, they started slashing at the bananas as well.

For every banana they slice, another two seem to come out. Cherry & Leslie were quickly getting exhausted.

"I- I think we should just book it!"
"How are we supposed to get out without causing any property damage?!"
"Listen," Leslie sliced another banana with one of its scythes. "We're gonna collapse if we keep trying to hold them off. We gotta- AGH!"

A banana had gotten a hold of Leslie's wrist.

"LESLIE!" Cherry screamed.

She threw her sword at the banana grasping Leslie's wrist. The sword went straight through the banana, cutting it in half. However, now Cherry didn't have a sword, & bananas started swarming her.

"CHERRY!"

With the last of her energy, Cherry pushed some of the bananas out of the way & yelled, "Go on without me! I- I can handle it!"

As bananas surrounded Cherry & started dragging her away, Leslie had no choice but to run. They wouldn't have been able to fend off the bananas by themself if they had stayed there.

It hopped into Cherry's car, exhausted & wracked with grief. Pulling on its tie, it poofed back into the clothes it was wearing before.

"I promise, Cherry.. I'll be back to save you."