[REQUESTS OPEN] jjba oneshots & match-ups

post-vento aureo headcanons

A/N: thank u @cannolomurolo for the sick request

i am in headcanon hell rn

giorno

*i think ger goes away after diavolo. i think shes just regular gold experience after that
*she/they gold experience btw lmfaooo
*gio is trans. i read this fic where cannolo murolo was man x and giorno was trans and adopted that into my worldview
*him & most of the gang live in a mansion (theres a garden. btw)
*jotaro checks up on him every once in a while. he ends up meeting his family and finding out about dio and whatnot
*if avdol and polnareff are alive, Adoption. like theyd be such good parents to him omlll
*pol teaching him how to swordfight & avdol teaching him fortune telling. ugh.
*giorno goes back to  school. yes hes don of passione yes he has geometry homework deal with it
*he has autism. just like me fr

fugo

*purple haze feedback canon in my mind (if you havent read it, its so freakin good u should)
*he starts to actually like purple haze instead of being afraid of it
*he/it purple haze. Yes i am assigning pronouns to stands ik i am a nutcase
*he was kinda jealous of giorno because he used to be brunos favorite child before gio joined
*giornos bf
*honestly i dont think hed go back to school cuz of his trauma. but if he did hed become the world's worst lawyer
*AUTISM. the boy has savant syndrome
*ptsd anorexic anger issues chad. he needs therapy
*obviously a stoner like why else would he name his stand purple haze

bucciarati

*realistically he'd become don but but idk i prefer don giorno
*he and abbacchio get married or some shit (crowd starts cheering)
*idk how i feel ab trans bruno but if he was. DIY top surgery with sticky fingers. take zippertits to a whole nother level.
*his lace tattoo shits? thats lingerie. he wears visible lingerie he styles his outfits specifically so he can show it off
*catholic guilt. he acts deranged because he is just so repressed
*bi king

abbacchio

*on the fence about whether or not he stays in the mafia. having a near-death experience and healing from his trauma might push him to quit. but if bucciaratis there he might want to stay to protect him
*uses moody blues a lot when alone. replaying times bruno smiles, figuring out who broke a vase, stuff like that
*she/her moody blues 😎
*he/she abbacchio. shes bigender :)
*she drinks a lot less now
*also has a lot of catholic guilt but probs less than bruno cause shes not actually catholic. his nana was though and she forced him to go to church every sunday until he was like 16
*his nana is dead :( her name was vida
*he probably has some sick tattoo in memory of her

narancia

*he gets to have pizza :')
*quits the mafia, goes back to school, becomes mistas roommate
*he/they non-binary aroace nara!!!
*hes latino
*giorno infodumps to him about flowers and he fucking eats them
*abbacchios favorite child tbh
*he loves trish and supports her in any way he can
*his near death experience left him pretty emotionally scarred on top of all the childhood shit.
*they give so many hugs they love physical affection
*adhd stoner
*has dyscalculia (idk how to spell)
*they also get glasses or contacts B)

mista

*he eventually moves out of the passione mansion and into his own apartment with narancia (hes still in the mafia tho)
*trans bi alloaro mista (real) (he told me himself)
*him & nara are queerplatonic partners
*stoner. also he has ocd
*trish is his best friend they go shopping 2gether and go to random restaurants but mista lowkey doesnt like her music😭😭😭
*hol horse is his dad
*he was in the foster care system for pretty much his whole life
*hes a lightskin black dude

trish

*she goes back to school and tries to balance that and becoming a pop star while also being a stand user with ties to the mafia
*mafia people probably go after her but she can hold her own in a fight (also sheila can protect her hehehe)
*shes not even mildly interested in joining the mafia. she is, however, interested in the speedwagon foundation
*she/they sapphic girlie
*probably has a tumblr where they reblog cool fashion stuff
*they bond with giorno over having 2 biological fathers & at least 1 of em being evil
*shes also smokes the devils lettuce😭

cannolo murolo (cus ur username lmfaoo)

*ha cha ant enjoyer of course (he says ha cha and has an ant farm)
*risotto has a crush on him for some reason & murolo doesnt know that
he thinks when risotto invites him over to his apartment it means ris is gonna kill him
*i cant explain it but murolo has slut energy
*lord forgive me
*he probably trolls some weird online forums
*and roleplays
*he was man x(the guy giorno saved as a child)
*born stand user? idk if that contradicts canon
*he has movie nights with the gang but the only movie they watch is a clockwork orange
*hes a homeowner but he manages to spend most of his time in the basement
*hes the universal weird uncle
*i hc him as 44 and ris as 39

sheila e

*she goes to therapy (wahoo)
*she never got her revenge. when the time came she just couldnt do it and illuso slipped away like a greasy weasel
*it wasnt completely illusos fault her sister died. she put the blame she felt toward herself on illuso
*doesnt feel as loyal to giorno as she does in canon. he let illuso go, so she feels a bit of resentment for that.
*pretty much madly in love with trish una. maybe collaborates with her on some of her songs
*her voice has a neat raspy quality to it
*shes trishs bodyguard
*fugo is like a brother to her. they have fights over the weirdest shit but they love each other
*certified pansexual

THATS IT!! LESGO