I'm still here -muzanxreader-

It's been so long...

But I know you wouldn't let me down, do you ?

I remember the first time i noticed you. I remember i was always cold. I remember the pain, this pain that tear you from inside and make you threw up. I remember when i was young how much i cried for this damn thing to stop but there was no end to such thing, not to this one, not this disease.

But during all these years of illness, above all the things that happened, what I remember, is the way you looked at me, judging my movements weak and clumsy. Was it by pity, hate or something else? You don't know how much i hated you for that damn look, you always make me feel like a single tear on a white sheet, the most important being for you but so insignificant at the same time. I hated that twisted face of guilty pleasure you had.

Even then you knew I was no good. Even before everything happened you knew about it, you always knew about it. Because you know all about this story. You always look down on me, despise me because of what you are, superior, you're a being capable of transcending my reality, my world! Everything here is just a transparent veil for you!
Nothing down here really matters to you, when my story is over you'll move to another one without batting an eyelash, right!
You don't know how much, how much! i envy you, you are what I dream to be a omnipotent being. But do you know what I want even more ?
You, it's you. I want for ever to feel your gaze burning on my body, feel your hate when i eat someone, feel that sweet warmth when something's wrong.

Even though I've never seen you and never been able to hold you in my arms. Even if I will never be enough for you, even if the ink is running low and there not enough to be with you anymore.

Please don't close the book, don't let me die in hazy memories, let me love you from another distant reality, and if you happen to miss me start again and write, write us a story when i can be with you. My love, please, don't take your warmth, don't take your present away from me.

- I love you my sweet reader..
Muzan