𝐃𝐄𝐉𝐀 𝐕𝐔, 𝐉𝐀𝐋𝐋𝐘

two

"Watching reruns of Glee"

it was ponyboy's idea, really, to watch movies all night long, but the younger teen had dipped moments earlier and left johnny and dally to their own devices. johnny watched him leave and wished the teen goodnight, telling him he'll be gone before the morning, to which ponyboy begged for him to be there. johnny laughed as he cuddled back into dally, almost unconsciously.

only a few minutes had passed before johnny changed the channel, to something where they were playing reruns of some random movies. it's glee, this time, and johnny leans even farther into dally, letting himself lull to sleep against the man. it's the first time they ever see glee, but it certainly isn't the last. the next week they watch it again, this time from start to end. they repeat this action for nearly a month before johnny starts saying the lines to nearly every character and hums along to the songs.

the next week so does dally.

"Being annoying
Singing in harmony"

the gang despised it with a passion, jokingly calling them annoying as they cast over-shoulder glances at the singing (or tapping, in dally's case) pair. when they were alone is the only time dally would sing, and it would be in perfect harmony with johnny. sometimes, when dally talks to his friends back in new york, he says he thinks that the kid's brain and his have fused.

"I bet she's bragging
To all her friends, saying you're so unique, hmm"

it's a long time before their relationship changes, but eventually, it does. dally grows distant, always tapping away on his phone as a grin grows on his face. johnny goes ignored, so much so to the point where he forces himself to endure his folks' torture. he mentions vaguely to ponyboy when he asks why dal hasn't come around so much that he's glad that he hasn't.

he's scrolling through Instagram in his bed one night, the clock just hitting two am and his eyes beginning to droop when he spots it. a comment from dally on a post of him and a girl kissing passionately in front of the streetlight dal met him at. he says that the girl is so unique and there's no one like her. he then says he's never been happier.

in the silence of the room, johnny can hear his heart shatter and shrivel.

"So when you gonna tell her
That we did that, too?"

johnny scrolls for weeks after that, trying to find out why this stranger was so much better than him. (is it her pale skin? he thinks as he casts a glance down at his pale skin, instantly wanting to tear it off. or is it the smile that reaches her freckled cheeks? is it the fact that she's not covered in bruises and cuts? does she have one of those incredibly clean rooms without bandages lying around like they were in johnnys room, or was it the fact she was a she?)

he doesn't get an answer. all he gets is disappointment, especially as he watches the girl go on dates with dal and claim that they're so original. johnny easily recognizes them as his and dally's spots, he thinks this especially so when he sees them sharing a strawberry ice cream at the same ice cream parlor dal took him to many months ago.

She thinks it's special
But it's all reused"

he wonders if dally will ever tell her that each date is stolen.

"That was our place, I found it first"

he wonders if dally will ever tell her that his ex-best friend had founded the spot and that he hadn't just seen it randomly. he wonders if dally will tell her about the many times their lips were inches apart.

"I made the jokes you tell to her when she's with you"

one day, when he's sitting on a rock above a very tall cliff, he sees dal and the girl. he's telling a joke, the same one johnny made years ago. the same one johnnys been making for years, but only to dal.

he nearly screams and rips out his hair.

"Do you get déjà vu when she's with you?
Do you get déjà vu? (Ah), hmm
Do you get déjà vu, huh?"

he lets his mind shift back to the girl and dal again, a week after promising himself he'd stop thinking about them. he finds himself putting himself into every scene he's seen or heard dally and her in. he lets himself imagine that he was the one dally was kissing, not her. he lets himself imagine dally's cleaning his cuts, not cleaning her room.

he reminds himself every time that these are just fantasies.

he reminds himself that he's unloveable each time he thinks he isn't.