Betrayed ✔️

Chapter 40: "Move on"

TIME SKIP- ONE MONTH LATER

ADA

There were too many bodies to be burned and buried.

We had lost too many on our side. I spotted familiar faces under the white sheets and added even more souls to my personal graveyard- more 'what ifs' to haunt me in my sleep.

Keen's funeral was one of the harder ones to attend. Many went out of a sense of duty, but only Haddel shed tears over her casket.

I didn't want to face the woman who tried to kill me, but I owed it to our friendship to try. Jay was there to support me, not even hesitating to drive me home halfway through the procession when it got too uncomfortable.

Ezra's funeral was the hardest to see. I think I cried myself sick for a week before being able to even think about dragging myself out of bed. I turned over our last few minutes together- what was he trying to warn me about? Could I have done anything different? What if I had just been better?

I met Nate- my brother? He was practically in tears, begging for forgiveness. Jay advised I hold onto this guilt as long as humanly possible and try to gain the perks.

It was strange, to be honest, having the option to rely on someone else completely. Back when I was at that place, the four of us just relied on each other- a constant support and lift system. When Izzy was born, I was the support. When she died, I had to stop Cam from going down that destructive spiral while also battling my own grief. Now... I guess I could see myself relying on Nate.

He certainly went up in my eyes for putting a gun to Haddel's head when he refused to vote against the kill order set on mine and Jay's heads. Haddel quickly changed his vote and I could finally breathe as a free woman.

I haven't completely accepted the Carter brothers as my family yet though. They've been happy to give me all the space I need, and I was grateful for that. I was in the hospital for quite a while- the doctors nearly fainted at the sight of my wounds- and they visited me every day. Jay brought me the news from the outside world, while Nate said they'd teamed up with Zaza to try to find Keres but with no luck so far.

I wasn't surprised. Keres wouldn't be found unless he wanted to be found.

Aliana was also admitted to the hospital and the two of us snuck out of our beds and raided the cafeteria in the dead of night, laughing as we recounted past memories. I was forever indebted to her for everything. She also put forward a petition to give Analysts and Agents the same basic training at the nepotistic Academy, so that both teams would be better equipped to deal with such issues if they ever arose again.

When I was finally allowed to go back to work, I was assigned to desk duty for the New Year. It was a relief, to be honest- I could definitely use some time outside of the field.

But there was a heavy cloud of grief covering the Agency like a lead blanket. People rarely laughed and joked, choosing instead to exchange terse smiles and polite nods. It was even worse for those who lost loved ones during the battle. Their eyes would skim over the areas- now scrubbed clean- that had been stained with blood.

"This is probably a stupid question," I muttered softly to Ben, another Analyst. "But are you alright?"

Ben had lost his fiancé during the fight- a knife to the throat- and had thrown himself into his work in a desperate attempt to forget the grief. They were due to marry just before Christmas- the day they first met. I would see Ben sometimes dully staring out of the window, twisting the gold band wrapped around his ring finger.

"I'm okay." He tried for a smile, but couldn't hold it for long. "Really, I'm fine."

"Okay..." I trailed off, glancing at him in concern.