butterflies ઇଓ matt sturniolo imagines

"𝘪'𝘭𝘭 𝘭𝘰𝘰𝘬 𝘢𝘧𝘵𝘦𝘳 𝘺𝘰𝘶." ***

content warning:
vague descriptions of s*lf-h*rm scars.
i write about where they are placed,
their color, and vaguely their shape.
i do not mention any sharp objects or
how they occurred- they are more so
alluded to rather than described.
please read with caution, or skip
this imagine if you might be affected
by the mention of this type of scar.

this was a request, and i was glad to
write it because i want to let all my
readers know just how worthy and
deserving and important they are.
i hope, in some way, you are reminded
of that through this story.

again, read with caution, and take
care of yourselves.

ॱ⋅.˳˳.⋅˙ॱᐧ.˳˳.⋅ઇଓ

     there's a reason you dress the way you do- so fully, like every outfit is shrouding you. in the past, if somebody tried to press you for an answer as to why you wanted a floor length dress for the homecoming dance and a jacket to wear over top, you'd just blame it on your mother's strictness; or if they wondered why you never showed up to any pool parties, you'd go as far as to lie and say you can't swim and were embarrassed. somehow, making up a fake story at your own expense was better than being honest with people. and you didn't mind this, because those occurrences were few and far between. nobody tried to question you anymore... except for matt.

     there was no one more gentle with you than him, and you tried not to hold that against him. you knew he was simply curious, and it all came from a place of admiration; if he ever asked, it was genuine. he thought you were beautiful, and that you deserved to wear anything that made you feel pretty. it was so hard to shut him down when his curiosity came from pure intentions. but you had no choice- or, at least it felt like you didn't.
     the truth is that you can't show much skin because you were hiding scars. they were old and faded, and they wrapped around your thighs and stomach like a second skin; short purple and red dashes living just under the surface. you weren't so much afraid for them to be exposed, but you preferred just not having to explain. that conversation was very difficult to have.
     it's been a long time since you've done anything of the sort, and you are much better off now. but scars like these take a lot of life to heal. they may never disappear. that is what makes you hesitant to be open, and also what proves to you that you're going to need to be open at some point.

     you knew the time would come when matt found out- you just didn't expect it to be tonight.

     it was late, and you were fresh out of the shower. matt was busy filming a video with nick and chris, so you decided to stay home and have a self-care night in your apartment. the couch was all set up with your best blanket and a late-night domino's order, and the twilight series was waiting patently to be binged. all you had to do was shower, slip into a comfy set of pajamas, and watch your guilty pleasure movies until you passed out on the couch. you were excited to have this time to yourself- as much as you adored being with matt, it's been a while since you did something you liked all on your own. you were ready for this time.
    in a big shirt and a pair of sleep shorts, you padded out to the living room with a towel in your hands, trying to dry off the ends of your hair. as you were about to sit down there was a knock at the door, and you grumbled in annoyance.
it's probably that lady from next door, you thought. there was an old woman in the apartment beside yours who always knocked on the door at odd times to either ask to borrow something or tell you to turn your television down when it was never on a raised volume. she was a very unusual woman- and it was very fitting that she'd try to disrupt your one night of relaxation. when you opened the door with a sour face, you were surprised to see not your creepy neighbor, but your boyfriend.