Wearing red for class today , there was a guideline that couples can wear red. To be honest I'd rather spend time in the councelling office during break but I know he'd get sad. Its been a couple weeks since we've met irl. The depressive episode made me hole up in my room for too long. I'm afraid of going out and talking to people again , I want to rot in my room.
I hate myself. I hate my brain . I hate my body. I hate how thinking like this hurts other people. I should just die and not be a waste of oxygen.
1:37 pm
Class just ended , I feel a bit better right now. Still a bit out of it. I didnt feel real when I was talking with my classmates. Theres still an emotional disconnect there. Its getting better tho , I feel like the worst of the downs is over. Man, I hate cycling like this.
----
The people running the sui hotline are cool, probably wont be the last time talking to them. They redirected a bad episode to think about my dog and it made me feel better it really did.
Coding is hard , didnt get it right during class haha but I can try again tonight.
Bf got me cookies for valentines. It was nice, he really didnt have to. Just pushing me to touch grass and get out my room was good enough.
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
