chapter 9:hopelessness

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Sayakas pov:

Once out of the building I walk slowly to my house.

Do i regret it?

What I said might have some consequences but.....

What would Nana say in this situation.

She lives far from me now.
I wish I could go and talk to her about my problems how I am inlove with my boss.

She would probably laugh.

And hit me in my arms me how that's forbidden.

But she would support me.

Wouldn't she?

I came out to her a while ago when I was still a teenager.

She loved me nonetheless.

And
Another person I would have want to be around would be midari.

She's my childhood only friend.

She's important to me.

Even tho she is not like me we connect in someway.

She chased off my bullies and I helped her grades.

In situations like these I would call her.
But she's at work.

I know she works somewhere dangerous

It's midari we are talking about Ofcouse she is.

But I trust her.

I didn't even realise am getting closer to my place.

I did not have the strength in me to use the bus

Because I know if I sit there doing nothing I will stress myself to death.

The closer I get to my house the heavier my legs feel.

What if she is not alone.

What if she is someone chosen from kaedes family.

I take the stairs but once I reach the floor I was asked.

I feel the gloom from the house.

The door is open

I mentally prepare myself for anything that could happen

One

Two

Three

I close my eyes and enter the house
.

I open them to be left speechless.

Kaede sitting there with liquor on the table his face red with anger.

A woman.....
Oh.

that was not a woman.

That was a child.

I almost throw up in disgust

The girl did not look older than 16.

And in her hand a small child crying uncontrollably.

She is crying too.

Her cheeks are bleeding.

The blood dripping on the child.

She turned to look at Me.

Her face was red with anger.

But all I could feel was pity.

"YOU!! it's all you fault."

She almost throws the child on the couch luckily she did not she just roughly place him there.

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