Bitter Sweet

XXIV- Goodbye

CARMELO'S POV

"Mama, hindi ko po alam kung ito na po ang araw na kailangan ko ng siyang ibalik sainyo. Gulong gulo po ako ngayon. Litong lito. Kailangan ko lang po muna umalis at mag isip."

I left after hearing her side. I feel lost, hurt, confused and betrayed.

I have no idea what is best for us anymore. Time and distance changed us. But I know that our love will never change. We just need to rest, think and keep going again. Sometimes people tend to lose hope but the fight is still on.

Bitter. Sweet. That is still how I will describe our relationship. We have a fair share of bitterness and sweetness. Hindi ko sinisisi si Tricia sa nangyari sa amin ngayon. May kasalanan din ako. I pushed her away and that gave her a wrong impression. An impression that I have given up on us.

I am getting my things ready when Ate Aiks came in. I'm a mess right now but I smile to her anyway.

Tinapik niya pa ako sa aking balikat. "Sabi ni Mama nag paalam ka raw na aalis?"

Tumango ako habang patuloy na inaayos ang mga gamit ko.

"Ate Aiks, can you look after Tricia and Carys? Ayaw ko sanang gawin 'to pero kailangan ko lang po ng oras para mag isip."

Tumango tango siya. She looks uneasy. Mukhang nahihiyang mag bukas ng usapan.

"Iniwan ko po siya kina Martha. Nakapag usap naman kami. Gusto ko na lang siyang yakapin as if nothing happened pero sobrang sakit po kasi ate. Sobra."

"I know Carmelo. At gusto kong humingi ng tawad sa nangyari. I haven't been able to talk to her pero susubukan ko. Iintindihin ko siya. Whatever your decision will be may isa lang sana akong ipapakiusap sayo."

"Ano po iyon, Ate?" Tanong ko sakaniya. Umupo na rin ako sa kama katulad niya matapos maisarado ang aking maleta.

"Kung mag desisyon ka, na tapusin ang sainyo ni Patty please be present in Carys' life."

I know where Ate Aiks is coming from. Geoff never showed up after leaving them. Not even to Aya. At kung ano man ang maging desisyon namin ni Tricia I will make sure that I will be there for Carys.

"I will make sure of that, Ate Aiks."

Isang mahigpit na yakap ang iniwan ko kay Carys. Hindi ko alam kung kailan ko siya ulit makikita. Masakit pero kailangan. I don't want to decide on something without giving it time. It is our life that is at stake.

I give everyone a hug before leaving Tricia's apartment. Saan ako pupunta? Hindi ko rin alam.

TRICIA'S POV

It's been over an hour since he left. Nakapag usap na rin kami ni Martha. The next thing I have to do  is to talk to my family. That includes Harry and Pia who are also here.

Now we are both in so much pain. I don't even know where to start from here. I hurt him because I thought I am hurting. But I was wrong. I just got the wrong impression.

I am in the couch staring blankly at the ceiling. Kung pwede lang sanang bawiin lahat ng sakit lahat ng luha gagawin ko. I cheated on my husband. My husband whom I thought already given up on our marriage.

Masyado akong nilamon ng takot. Takot na siyang naging dahilan para tuluyang lumayo ang loob sa akin ng asawa ko.

"Janine, your  sisters are outside."