A BLACK WOMAN'S DIARY

Chapter Two: Attitude Adjustment.

I sigh as Jonah and I walk behind the counter. Thank God I'm working this evening shift, and thank God, it's a slow night. As I was enjoying the calm before the storm of him breaking the silence, we sat there a quick moment before he had to open his mouth and start a conversation. I don't know why I'm so anxious about this, he's a human, I'm a human. Even though sometimes I feel like I don't belong here. It'd be weird to say that I feel like some alien, some type of unique-angelic like species that got sent to live a human life, and it's harder for me to bare than who ever sent me here could ever imagine. 

   Don't get me wrong, even though I think this way, I do believe in God, deeply. Even though I'm depressed, and suicidal, I do my best to keep my faith strong, but dealing with this kind of mental illness, it's harder to manage. And, I hope you're not mad at me God, no matter what, I still love you. I know he's the one who sent me here, I mean he sent all of us here. He created all of us, perfectly in his image... some people just have a hard time seeing it like that. But, that's just what I believe.

"Uh, hello? Trainer? Are you just gonna stand there, or are you gonna train me?" My thoughts got interrupted by Jonah's rude way of asking me to get started with his training. I look at him so crazy, anyone could see that I was not having it. I'm a millisecond away from punching the absolute fuck out of him.

Did I mention that I have a quick temper and VERY thin patience with people nowadays? Especially the ones who are extremely rude to me for no reason. If it's a customer, that's one thing, I can control it, but for a co-worker and also somebody I've just met to be talking to me like that, that's all around a huge no-no. I'm not letting that slip and slide like the old me use to.

"UH, who do you think you're talking to?" I spat, mocking his "uh" right back at him.

"I mean, does it look like anyone else is in this conversation?" He looks around, sarcastically when we both know there's nobody else in this conversation. I don't know what or who the fuck pissed in his cereal this morning, but I'm trying not to cuss him out. I don't have time for this bullshit, this just shows that you that people are so nice-y nice-y, to get the job they wan't or anything they want, really. But when it comes down to it, they really show their true colors. I've only known this dude for two seconds and I'm already getting major ass-holey vibes from em'. Not only that, I'm already-ready to smack him, that's not good for me or for him; what so ever. Is it worth it losing my job because of this miserable fuck? I know I am too, but, I actually have a mental illness, he has a huge case of rude ass — I mean nobody told him to come work here. Nobody asked him to apply, and to skip and hop his happy-go-lucky-ass in here. He called up here almost everyday asking about his application.

I laugh at his sarcasm, with his face immediately going into a certain look of confusion, like nobody has never snapped back at him before. But, I couldn't help but to laugh at this dick. "Look, I don't know what the fuck you got going, but I haven't done anything to you, you need to lose the attitude before I help you do anything." Yes, there's a lot of aggression within my tone, because he absolutely has me fucked up.

He raises his thick eyebrows at me so promptly at my response, "I don't got to lose shit-" He starts, and before he even gets to finish his sentence, Cheyenne runs to us, gathering up the rest of the staff. She's holding her purse in one hand, with her work backpack on her back, indicating that she's leaving. But, what for?

"Hey guys, quick huddle!" Everyone gathers around, with the "what's-going-on" look. I guess today is just a day of confusion for everyone, huh?

"We have to close down early tonight. The system shut down, I don't know what happened, it was very random. We won't be able to access it until tomorrow. There's no way we can take orders right now. Kalessie, Jonah you'll pick back up where you left off tomorrow. But, before you two are free to leave, I need you to hang up closed signs. Kalessie, if you forgot where they are, they are in the closet where we store the cleaning products..."