Brothers (they are the worst)

2

next brother. second to oldest. his name is Elias.

he struggled. he actually used to be nice to me. but he hung out with the wrong people.

i remember, he brought his friends to our house while our parents weren't home. they were showing off guns, and it was in my room. i was scared, but i didn't want to say anything. he was always being left out, though. they would make fun of him sometimes. he would just chuckle silently.

they would also make fun of me, too. that's what led Elias not to like me. he was scared of what others were going to say. he was scared of being judged. maybe he still loved me. i don't know.

like i said before, me, all my brothers, and my father when he was younger, harmed ourselves. most of us even tried committing suicide. Elias burned himself. i remember walking on him doing it. he was startled. he said i didn't see anything and that i shouldn't tell dad or mom. he said he would do anything if i didn't tell my father. i told my father like 3 days later. we had to have a family meeting. that's when i was sure Elias hated me.

he would bully me with his friends. i got sick and tired of it. i told my parents that Elias has been showing off guns. he got in big trouble. he was getting yelled at by our parents. he was crying. i felt bad but i had to do it. i was tired.

the following days weren't easy—for any of us. we all just kept arguing. we would wake up and just expect to have an argument first thing. it was mostly my dad and Elias. my dad would walk into his room and yell at him for not being awake. it was always something. one time he yelled at him for not eating dinner.

like i said, Elias hated me after i told him about his problems. his friends ditched him. he was lonely. i would check up on him occasionally, apologizing for what i did. but he didn't want to talk to me. he didn't say anything mean, like my oldest brother, mike. he just simply told me to go away.

i wish i didn't go away. my father wasn't the one who caught him, it was my mother. she screamed in horror. everyone ran to her and we saw Elias with a gun to his head. he pointed the gun at us. he told us to stay back and allow him to die.

one of my brothers tackled him. he took the gun away and gave it to my father to keep. Elias was screaming and fighting my brother. it took 45 minutes to an hour just for him to stop fighting my brother. when he did stop fighting, he did more yelling. he was trying to find another gun but he couldn't find them. he started crying. we all tried to comfort him. it wasn't working.

after that, nobody left him alone. one of my brothers had to share a room with him just to make sure he didn't do anything stupid. he even had to leave the bathroom door unlocked. i felt sorry for him. i ruined everything for him.

and i still feel bad.