One Shots with Chris Evans

This Is Us

  My stomach had been in knots all week long, anticipation building up in what I wish I could say was excitement, but really, it's out of pure worry and fear. I've been spending most of my prayer time during the week focusing on a hope that my son would have a good week, minimal meltdowns and make it through the school days without any issue that would lead me to not be able to keep my promise to him.

My alarm goes off Friday afternoon, reminding me of his carpool time. Grabbing up my items from my desk I run off to give a wave to the restaurant manager. "Tonight's the night, right?"

"Lord willing," I answer quickly. "About to find out."

Driving over to Walker's school, the prayers continue as does the tightening of the knots in my gut. I'd like to say that's not a normal occurrence or feeling for me, but every afternoon as I wait in carpool I sit biting my nails, chewing on my lips and holding my breath until I hear the words "He had a good day today!" or "We had a few moments." Today would be either one of those since I hadn't received the kind of call that would need my immediate attention and result in having to pick him up early. 

 Single parenting isn't easy for anyone.  But toss in a child with autism that is almost completely nonverbal, and you realize just how much harder it can be. It's certainly nothing I ever imagined I'd be experiencing myself, but here I am, having done it for the last four years with only a small amount of help from my dearest friend and her parents. 

 I can hear the school bell ring loudly as I pull my car into the school's parking lot with my windows down. The weather is absolutely perfect which in theory should add something great to my son's attitude as that means chances are they had extra recess today if he finished with his in class occupational therapy without too many struggles. 

  His teacher's aide spots me, noticing the bright blue of my two door car. I grin as she points the car out to Walker, his nearly white blonde hair almost blinding in the sun as he waves his hand wildly in the air before beginning to bounce on his toes. 

  "Hey sweetheart!" I call out as I push open the passenger door, the teacher pushing the chair up so that he can climb into the back seat. "How was your day, buddy?"

  "It was a good day," Ms. Marie tells me with a sly wink. "Wasn't it Walker?"

  He smiles back at me, his blue eyes looking a little tired. "He had some extra play time along with a little bit of time in the sensory room so he'll probably sleep pretty well tonight."

  I chuckle only to myself, knowing that tonight is a late night due to the surprise I have in store for him. "Maybe he'll take a little nap," I say looking over my shoulder at him as he buckles himself up, beginning to laugh as he shakes his head no at me. 

  We wave off Marie before leaving the school behind completely. "So, you had a good day today?"  I catch the small thumbs up he gives me through the rearview mirror. "Well, what if I told you I had a surprise for you?"

  His face lights up and he starts babbling, his hands moving around a bit quickly, not giving me enough time to make out his signs as he's tossing in random movements as well. But I do catch the simple question of "What?"

  Walker and I both had begun taking sign language classes when he was just two years. I'd began having a general wonderment of whether or not he was ever going to talk so while attending speech therapy we also began learning bits and pieces of sign language. He fought me on it for quite a long time. And even now, he can understand what is being said to him but he struggles making his wants, needs and thoughts verbally. Most of the time he can pull out a few signs, but if he's too excited we tend to get more grunts and just sounds.