"Sweet Dreams" Muke au

0.3

(I have a Zayn playlist on spotify that I listen to when I write. Check it out at ktsteranko)

"Come on, Luke. Shopping isn't that boring." My mum laughs as she shakes me awake.

....I feel asleep in target while my mother was looking for a cheap pair of jeans. Thoroughly embarrassed, I try to hide the fact that I'm panting and covered in sweat.

"Excuse me ma'am, do you need any help?" I look up at a man in a red shirt and giant black glasses. His black hair is done the same as mine so I decide not to instantly hate him like I do with most people.

"I'm okay sweetie, thank you." my mum dismisses him quickly, without looking up from the rack of jeans.

He seems to look almost hurt and I smile to myself.

"Well my name's Zayn, let me know if you need anything. I'm happy to help." She doesn't answer, but she gives him a small smile. He leaves and looks at me awkwardly. I quickly look away to avoid eye contact, like always.

-

"I found one, get up. Let's go." she waves me on and walks towards the queue. I groan but follow her quickly, not wanting to get lost. I know it's lame.

I drift into thought about what I dreamt about. I still only remember red and Clifford but I can't tell if it actually happened this time. I don't know if I was in Target in the dream or if it's just blending together with real life.

"Luke! Let's go. What's up with you today." once again my mum shakes me from my thoughts.

I mumble a quick sorry and grab some bags from the counter. The bitch cashier looks me up and down, frowning at my all black outfit. I'd flip her off if my mother wasn't standing next to me. I just give her my best smile and wave. She rolls her eyes and scowls as she scans toilet paper for the fat guys behind us.

"I'll take you to Dr. Smith's then I have to run a few more errands. I'll be back in time to pick you up." My mum tells me once we get in the car. "You're okay with that right?"

"Yeah, sure." I surprise myself with how casual I sound. I am in no way okay with this but I don't like to admit I can't take care of myself, even to my mother, I'm 18 for god sakes.

-

She leaves me sitting in the waiting room, alone. I keep staring at my phone to ignore the goosebumps raising all over my arms.

"Luke Hemmings." I pick at the strings falling from the rips in my jeans as I walk over to the door that leads to Dr. Smith's room.

"Hey Luke. How's it going?" She acts so casual. I think she's trying to make me more comfortable but it wasn't really. I felt better once I was in her office though. I've been seeing her for years and I feel mainly safe with her, but my mum is usually sitting outside waiting for me.

"Um well not too good." I bring my knees up onto the chair and shyly bury my chin into them. "My mum went to go run errands or something, so there's kinda no one here to pick me up right now." I'd usually be embarrassed to say this, but like I said I've been seeing her for years.

"But she's coming back for you of course?" She furrows her eyebrows and leans forward in concern.

"Yeah, yeah, but I'm alone for now."

"No you're not, Luke. I've know you for six years, you're safe here." She smiles and pushes a glass of water to my side of the coffee table that sits between us.

"I guess." I grumble, almost hoping she'll hear. I take my legs down from the chair and sit uncomfortably for a minute before shuffling around and sitting crisscross.

"I wanted to try something, Luke." She slides a notebook right next to the glass.

"What is it?" I pick it up and flip through it. It's empty.

"I want you to write down you dream the second you wake up. I know you forget them but there is always a little bit you can remember if you let yourself."

"Why?"

"It could help me figure out what's going on and it could also help you lucid dream."

"That's cool, I've always wanted to do that." I am genuinely interested and I almost forget that my mum left me alone. "I, uh, had a dream today. I fell asleep at Target." I chuckle and she smiles. "I don't remember anything different though. I think I was in Target in the dream, but I think it just blended with real life."

"Well that's kind of a start. Have you blacked out or anything recently?"

"No actually, I have had a few panic attacks, but Jessie really help with that, she calms me down."

When I was younger I used to get so upset from my dreams that would have horrible panic attacks. As I got older I got used to the dreams, but other things would trigger the attacks. After a while they got worse, I would blackout and do and say awful things and not remember what happened. Ever since me and Jessie have been together she has been able to keep me calm. I smile at the thought of her and decide to go see her after this.

"That's great, Luke. I'm so glad you found someone like that!"

-

For a while things were pretty basic. I went to therapy, I wrote down my dreams, (none of them anything spectacular) and I 'hung out' with Jessie, (mostly we just made out). Nothing really happened for a few weeks.