I'll Show You Your Existance

6

The drive to the vet office seemed like it was taking forever. Will was impatiently tapping his fingers against the steering wheel the whole way there, and fighting the urge to speed. Getting pulled over would be stupid, and the last thing he needed, so he clenched his jaw and drove at what seemed like a snail's pace the whole way there. No matter how hard he tried, he couldn't seem to slow his racing heart. God, all I’m doing is driving!

Eventually, he pulled up to the quiet, dark building, and took a few deep breaths. Reaching over to the passenger seat, he grabs the ski mask he had thrown in the car, a flashlight, a backpack, and the metal lock picking instruments. Of course Hannibal has lock picking stuff he thinks with a flash of endearment. Pulling the ski mask over his head, he steps out into the dark and approaches the door.

Picking the lock was laughably easy, and was something he obviously had plenty of previous experience doing. He pauses once he got in, waiting and listening for an alarm to be set off, but it remains silent. They’re in a pretty rural area, and there probably aren’t many break-ins. He turns the flashlight on and makes his way into the back of the building, and is able to find where they keep the medication fairly quickly. A few were locked in a fridge, but that was just as easy to open as the front door was. Hannibal had written down a few medications, Ceftriaxone, which he can't find, and Cefepime and Vancomycin, among a few others, that he is thankfully able to find with some digging. He's able to gather the needed supplies for starting IV fluids as well, so he throws that in his backpack along with the medication. His hands shake violently as he gathers everything he needs, and he ends up dropping a couple of the bottles. “Shit” he whispers, kneeling down on the floor and looking around. It takes him a whole five minutes to find what he had dropped, but once he gets it put away with the rest of the stuff, he is finally done. There was no point in trying to cover up the break-in, so he doesn't waste time trying to clean up or lock the doors once he was out. He sprints back to the car, throwing the backpack in the passenger seat, and then starts the car and peels out of the driveway. He only remembers his mask after he has started driving away, so he pulls it off one handed while he drives, shaking out his curls to stop them from sticking to his sweating face.

The adrenaline rush is intense, and Will has to grip the steering wheel tightly so he won't accidentally let go with all his shaking. “Holy fuck… I did it. I just did that.” The words bring a smile to his face, and he starts to laugh. He laughs so hard tears are streaming down his cheeks and he starts to hiccup because he can’t catch his breath. He feels alive. Sure, all he had done was break into an empty building, but considering that he doesn’t have any memories, that was the most intense thing he can remember ever doing.

The drive home is a stark contrast to the drive there, time seems to fly by. He is anxious to be reunited with Hannibal, and get his health under control. He still can’t for the life of him figure out why Hannibal had stayed silent, surely he was in a lot of pain, and it would’ve been easier to treat if they had addressed it sooner. Will’s laughing dries up after a few minutes, and he finds his mood darkening by his racing thoughts. He is struggling to make sense of Hannibal’s actions, so he starts going over all their interactions one by one as he drives. It is ultimately Hannibal’s reluctance for Will to leave that gives him away, his face as Will gathered up supplies for the brief trip almost flipping a switch in Will’s mind, and suddenly it all makes sense. Hannibal is scared of me leaving. The realization makes Will’s heart break just a bit, and while he may not remember much about Hannibal, something tells him that the other man wasn’t used to fear. Hannibal’s mood had been erratic since they had arrived at the cabin, and the back and forth was draining. That’s really out of character for him, Will wasn’t sure how he knew, but he did. I should’ve realized he was sick earlier. Will wasn’t a doctor, but if he had to guess, the infection had amplified whatever emotions Hannibal was struggling with already, leading to this more erratic behaviour. He had spent those few days alone in his room, and there was no way Will could’ve known he was sick, but a stab of guilt seemed to push all the breath out of his lungs.