Rylin Riddle: After The War

chapter seven

March 4, 2000 (Friday)

        The anger that has built up inside of me has only made my mind weaker. My body has only gotten stronger though. The voices can come in and out with such ease I can't even silence them anymore. I'm too fragile of a state to fight them. I let them take over my mind and body. I can't even control what I do half the time. It's like I'm living in my own body, being played with like some puppet on strings. I do as I'm made to and don't complain.

        Theo being alive has thrown everything for a loop. Mattheo and Tom have let me be again, more than they have been recently.

        They don't even attempt to talk anymore. It's not like I react much anyways. It's like when I was raped. The same numb feeling of hopelessness. Except this time, the hope that keeps coming back gets shot down time after time.

Theo's alive but in Azkaban.

Azkaban for fuck's sake.

        If he's alive, he might not even be recognizable anymore. It could all be as if he's dead anyways.

        Every time I let my mind wander to the fact that I might actually see him again, I remember that there's barely a chance. Visitors aren't allowed which means he's alone. It means I can't fucking visit him and see him again.

Who in Azkaban actually gets let out?

        If you're on the level of security he's supposedly on, then never. He'll never see me again either.

        Anyways, I've been thinking of how it must've gone down for Theo. I think he was caught while still at Hogwarts. I just can't let myself believe he would've left without me no matter what. Someone must've captured him and turned him in to the Ministry.

        My brothers and I had our own private trials after the war. The Ministry wasted no time locating us when we were out away from Tom's house.

        They were waiting, it was obvious. They waited until someone spotted us and took charge.

        We went through a trial as a trio and ended up being let loose. There were tests of us promising we were not intending harm on Dumbledore's army and such. We had to prove we tried to fight for Hogwarts and not for my father. That and a lot of money ended up with us being set free.

        Most of all, I think about the fact that Harry Potter knew. He had to have known. He works for the bloody ministry and didn't bother mentioning it to me. He saw how horrible I was in his mind because of it, but he didn't do a thing to help. He could've at least told me Theo was alive.

        This morning I woke up early and decided I needed to pay Harry a little visit. He can't be all happy when I'm in physical pain because of what I've been going through.

        I left a note on the kitchen counter to let my brothers know I left. I said I had to run some errands and I'd be home later. Those errands just happen to be at Harry's house.

        I used apparition to get to his house, since I only know the location generally. I closed my eyes and waved my wand.

        I was greeted by the smell of rain. I opened my eyes to find myself standing on a wet sidewalk. There were various houses, all thin and tall. This is some sort of wizarding town. I was facing one house in particular. This better be his house.

        I walked up the wooden steps covered in water and knocked on the dark brown door.

        I heard the click of a lock and the door swung open. Harry stood staring at me, looking both confused and overly welcoming.