dill pickle 🍆🥒 (Cartman x Shrek)

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by carman_th33_rat

by carman_th33_rat

The day was like no other, today was shreks birthday and Cartman wanted to do something special for him. He wasn't sure what yet but he knew if had to be big(😏). He went shopping after school at butt fuck mall on ligma street. There he saw the man of his dreams, Shrek. He was in the back of Spencer's looking for... "Cartman what are you doing here" said Kyle before Cartman could finish his thought. "NOTHING YOU STUPID JEW" shouted cartman. Turns out Cartman had spaced out whilst starring at his one and only boy toy hunk of a man he loved so much. Shrek heard them and got flustered, he ran. Cartman slowly fallowing behind 'where could he be' Cartman thought after loosing shrek-san. Little did he know Shrek was watching him back, he felt embarrassed to admit it but Cartman was his boy toy, his one and only, his SENPAI.

Later that day~~~

Over at big mama June's(honey boo boos mom) house the gang were preparing a party for shrek-san. Kenny on decorations, Kyle on music and Stan on food. Big mama June had left to go to a different party as she does not approve of Shrek and Cartmans relationship. They all knew she was jealous of them. Kyle had finished with his awesome amazing playlist. When Cartman rushed through the front door. "YOU GUYS YOU GUYS YOU GUYS" cartman shouted at the top of his lungs. It was so loud that mama June who was a million miles away could here it. "What now fatass" Kyle replied in annoyance he didn't even want to be helping them with this stupid party anyway. He thought Shrek was too good for Cartman, and that he needs someone like... "I FOUND THE PERFECT GIFT FOR MY BOOGIE BEAR BAE" Cartman plowing through Kyle's thoughts. "What Is it anyway" Stan said confused by the package cartman was holding. "IS THAT A DIL-" Kenny was about to say before cartman interrupted "pickle?..." He said in innocence. "Kenny I think being poor has gotten to your brain this obviously isn't a pickle" cartman said annoyed. " I don't know what it is but the cashier said that my partner would love it, especially in the bed room" said Cartman "I don't think I'd wanna sleep with that thing if I were you" said Kyle. All the while Kenny was loosing his shit in the background at how stupid these dumbass we're. They prepared everything as Stan dimmed the lights and caran texted Shrek.

Bookie baby bear💖
---------------------------

Heyyy

   Hi BB<3
Hru😘

   I'm guud hru❤️

I'm good 😍
   I have a suprise 4 u

   Oh youuu
   You really shouldn't
   Have 🤗

Just meet me at
Mama June's place

Okey luvya💕

Luvya too bb
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The end.
A/N: this sucks balls but here you go💀