Saving You

7.

Shradha paid attention to the rythym of his breaths as she snuggled closer to his body. She knew he wasn't a touchy person, but in her moment of vulnerability, he always held her close to him. She knew that was what he was doing.

"Your mother keeps reminding me that she wants grandchildren." Shradha said breaking the silence of the room after their passionate kiss. She expected that he would take it further than a kiss, but tonight he seemed too caught up with something else to be bothered about sex.

"Hm and what did you say?"

"Nothing." She dipped her head closer to his chest, flushed at the thought of facing him now. "The idea of children frighten me."

"Why is that? You have to give me an heir after all." His words made her still as she found herself questioning all the things she thought she was right about. She thought he never wanted children.

He must have sensed her silence, because he looked down upon her, his chin nestling her head. "Don't you want to have kids?"

The question made her uneasy. Oh God! What has she done! Her heart began thumbing hard against her chest that she felt like it would beat out of her ribcage.

She took a deep breath, steeling herself against the possibility that he would react poorly to what she was about to say. She forced herself to look at him, swallowing hard against the flutter of fear she felt at the sight of those tell-tale signs of growing anger in the man at her side. "I had an abortion a few months ago."

The man beside her stiffened and she fidgeted nervously in response. "I didn't want a child. I thought you wouldn't either. So I had it aborted at the hospita-"

For several moments there was silence, then the male released her hand and slowly rose to his feet in a series of tightly reined movements. He walked away from her, stalking far across the room where he began to pace. Shradha drew her knees up to her chest, folding her arms around herself protectively as she watched the angry man move back and forth across the space. The more he paced, the angrier he seemed to become. His movements were jerky and abrupt, his jaw working in a way that suggested he was grinding his teeth.

"Aditya, I'm sorry."

He stopped, coming to face her as she spoke. The exaggerated rise and fall of his chest only served to emphasize the barely controlled outrage she saw in his expression.

"Why didn't you tell me?!" He shouted angrily. She winced, shrinking under the booming baritone of his voice, able to do little else than gesture at him in response.

Tears rose again when Aditya resumed his pacing, his agitation polluting the air between them so heavily that she began to shake under the influence of it.

"I tried to be patient, I tried to be understanding," he seethed. "Have I not treated you well? Have I not been a good husband? What have I done that would make you wish to punish me this way?"

Shradha whimpered, dropping her chin to her knees, wishing she could be smaller. "I wasn't trying to punish you!"

Aditya gave a bark of humorless laughter. "Really? Why else would you have concealed this from me?"

She tried not to let the sting of his words affect her too deeply, knowing he was upset, but it was difficult not to. "I never wanted any of this, you know."

Behind her, the male heaved a great sigh. "I don't suppose either of us expected our lives to take the turns they have." His tone remained sharp, but disappointment had replaced the heat of his anger.

"You killed my child Shradha. And you didn't even bother asking the father for permission. Or perhaps, am I even the father?"

Red hot tears streamed down her eyes at the accusation. Infidelity was the one thing she would never do and he knew it very well, yet he was shooting words that cut deep.

Shradha shook her head, lips pursing as more tears stung her eyes and a strangled sob tightened her throat. She tensed when his hands closed over her shoulders, the stiffness of her muscles offering minimal resistance as he turned her to face him.

She refused to look up, only shaking her head again in unspoken protest. Aditya framed the underside of her jaw with one hand, tilting her head upwards.

"Look at me." As always, she begrudgingly complied. "Is the idea of life with me really so awful a fate to consider?" He asked, a knit brow only emphasizing the wounded expression he wore. The resulting pang of guilt she felt had her shoulders sinking in defeat.

His hold on her jaw was tightening with each second she offered him silence as response. "Aditya please."

"Why did you do it Shradha?"

"I . . . I was scared because-" she huffed in a deep breath, her sob tightening and getting caught at her throat, "Because we can never be good parents. I didn't want a child to go through what we had growing up."

A thousand emotions danced in his dark eyes before he pulled away from her harshly, the impact causing her to stumble a few steps back. She called out his name as he pulled on a t-shirt and was about to exit.

"I didn't know what else to do." She shouted from behind with tears still draining her cheeks but she shuddered as the sound of the room door being slammed shut welcomed her.