Learning To Love (Taylor's Version)

Disappointed & Done

Mentions of abuse and blood

(River's Version):

I ran as fast as I could, the blood bleeding out my shin, my heart pounding in my chest, squinting out my bruised eye. I sat down, resting against a tree, trying to catch my breath. Blood dripped down my foot, falling onto the ant bites, making my whole leg feel like it's on fire. I felt myself getting dizzy as I tried to stop the blood.

"Or are you just scared to admit you need help?"

"Or are you just scared to admit you need help?"

"Or are you just scared to admit you need help?"

The line that the man said yesterday kept repeating in my brain. What if this was a sign? What if I really do need help? My situation is homeless, bruised, and alone. Of course I need help, but after what I did, why would she want to help me again?

Just as I was going to get up, I saw a woman who looked somewhat familiar. She had brown wavy hair and sparkling brown eyes. She looks over at me and her eyes widen. She runs over and kneels down next to me. Just as I was about to speak, she cut me off.

"Don't even try to tell me that you're fine," she said, helping me stand up.

I don't speak as she helps me walk to a bench. I silently sot there while she made a phone call.

"Hey... Yes, right by the bench... The one in the park... We're both there... We'll wait here.."

"Taylor's on her way, she'll be here in a couple minutes," she tells me.

"What! No!"

"You can't walk 2 miles like this,"

"Why would I need to?"

"Where were you gonna go?"

I shrug and I hear her sigh. A couple minutes later, a car pulls up and Taylor gets out, gasping while looking at me. Her and Selena help me into the car and Taylor sits in the back with me. She held a cloth firmly against my leg.

I wasn't used to taking help, I didn't like it. They would just hurt me again, I'm too used to it.

After the car stopped, they helped me out again and Taylor sat down with me while Selena called a doctor. I told them I really didn't need that, but they didn't listen. I couldn't move anywhere either so I was stuck.

.....

"She'll be fine, just change the bandage twice a day," the doctor says, while heading out.

Selena and Taylor talked for a bit while I was just sitting there trying to find a way to itch my leg. It was really frustrating but I forgot about it once Taylor walked over and started to talk to me.

"What happened? Why does your leg look worse?" She asks me.

I look up at Selena and she leaves the room, leaving just me and Taylor. I shrug at her, not wanting to really talk about it. We sit there in silence for a couple minutes, and she finally gets up and leaves the room. I lay down on the couch and close my eyes. I'll be fine tomorrow and I can leave and go back, I remind myself.

I hear the door squeak, and I turn around to find Joe. I could see Taylor sitting down in a chair, laying her head on the desk. The door closes, making me shift my attention back to Joe.

"So you took my advice, huh?" he asks, in a teasing manner.

"I didn't have a choice," I say, rolling my eyes.

"Whatever you say," he responds, chuckling.

He sits down next to me and goes on his phone, pretending I'm not there.

"What's the point of coming in if you're not going to ask me anything?" I ask him.

"Do I have to ask you anything every time I see you?" he questions.

"I guess not,"

After a couple minutes, I started playing with the cast. I peel off the stickers and pull the straps on and off. Just at that moment, Taylor walks in.

"River!" Taylor exclaims, pulling my hand away from the cast.

Joe looks up from his phone and looks at Taylor.

"Dinner's ready," Taylor says, and Joe gets up, walking out the room.

"I'll see you later then," I say, walking to the front door.

"You're eating with us, cmon,"

"I'm not hungry,"

Taylor doesn't respond, she just drags me to the table. I look in front of me to see mac and cheese, garlic bread, and asparagus. Everyone looks at me like they're waiting for me to eat. I looked around and Joe was the only one who was already eating. 

I took small bites out of the garlic bread and mac and cheese, but I was allergic to asparagus. I didn't really know how to tell anyone, so I slowly tried to eat that too. I could feel my throat starting to close up.

I quickly push myself back and walk out, without saying anything. Taylor immediately gets up and follows me. My eyes started to water and my face started getting red. I think Taylor understood what was going on cause she handed me this pill that made me feel better in a couple of minutes. I was still feeling itchy and sick, but much better.

"You know, you don't have to be afraid of me," she says.

You're just gonna hurt me again, so yes, I'm afraid I'll let my guard down and you'll hurt me, just like all of them.

"Mhm," I responded, but I don't think she bought it.

"I mean it, I won't ever hurt you, I just wanna help," Taylor adds.

"That's what they all say,"

"But they don't get a doctor to check you, feed you, and talk to you like this,"

"Am I supposed to be so grateful that you ignored all the hints I gave you to stop talking to me? Am I supposed to be grateful about you buying your way to talk to me?"

"Yes! Because I helped you when you're hurt. I'm here for you no matter what you said to me,"

"I didn't want your help, I don't like you!"

"You're saying that cause you're angry right now, you don't mean it,"

"I mean every word I say. I hate you."

"How about you both calm down," I hear a male voice say.

I look up to see Joe standing there, next to Taylor.

"How about you both take some time to calm down," he suggested.

"Yeah Taylor, leave," I say, feeling angry at her.

Joe quietly says, "I'll stay with her, go and talk with Sel."

"She likes you more than me even though I've tried to help her more. I'm done," she replied, leaving the room.

"Taylor," Joe calls out.

She slammed the door and walked out, leaving me and Joe again. He doesn't say anything, but it wasn't a comfortable silence before, it was more of a tense silence. Joe just looked at me with disapproval and walked out, closing the door on the way out.

I sigh as I tear rolls down my face. I don't even know why I'm crying, I should be happy. I pushed them out before they could hurt me.