Petal [h.s.]

FIFTY-FOUR - THE CALIFORNIA DREAM

I watched Harry sleep.

After a long bath, we curled up together in bed and before I could open my lips to ask him if he wanted to stay here overnight, he was asleep. The poor thing was just so exhausted from how hard he worked tonight that I just left it.

Personally... I would have liked to leave. As much as I enjoyed this night with him and with Zayn, Apartment X wasn't for me any longer. I loved Harry and I knew he needed that sleep, so I didn't bother waking him to ask if we could go back to the hotel. I knew he would if I asked. He would drag his tired body anywhere I wanted him to go.

I just couldn't sleep here. Knowing it was our last night in the city and tomorrow we would be driving home... it was like an ache had settled into my chest. I didn't want to go back to the Wasteland. I wanted to stay here with him forever.

I couldn't stop thinking about how he was going to react to my new shop in California. I knew he would be angry. He would be so angry that he may never speak to me again. I hoped he wouldn't let it consume him and would realize that I had to do this for myself. I hoped he would join me there.

It was just how things worked out. I wasn't doing it to give him some sort of ultimatum or time limit on leaving Jessie. I wasn't trying to force his hand here, although a desperate part of me hoped that it would. I hoped it would make him realize that he wanted to come with me, not just for me but for himself. It was his dream now, too. I wanted him to have it.

I pulled my sore body out of bed, away from the warmth of him, cocooning myself in a blanket before I stepped out onto the balcony. It was much colder tonight than it was the last time we came, but it was a welcomed chill. The wind whipped against my cheeks every so often and it smelled like the start of winter. I lit a cigarette and took a long drag off it, my eyes flickering around all of the lights of the city surrounding me.

Despite it being the middle of night, everything was alive in New York. Sounds echoed from below of drunk people walking from bar to bar together, music blaring from a window nearby, a girl somewhere shouting at her lover for texting someone else. I soaked it all in, all of the loud, all of the noise. You just didn't get this type of entertainment in the Wasteland.

The balcony door behind me slid open and I jumped slightly in surprise, craning my head around to look up at Harry's sleepy face. He had his own blanket wrapped around his shoulders and his head like a cape, rubbing at one of his eyes as he yawned.

"Baby?" He mumbled quietly, "Come back to bed."

I thought about just agreeing. I thought about snuffing my cigarette out and allowing Harry to guide me back inside. About crawling into the warm sheets and letting him hold me as he fell back asleep. I knew I'd be up all night long either way, but if I went back inside with him, at least one of us would get a good night of sleep.

He read every expression that crossed my face when I hesitated and I could see the concern cross his own.

"Is everything okay?" He moved outside fully, shivering slightly at the cold wind, but sitting down next to me regardless.