02/19/23 4:52
R.I.P to my beautiful golden angel.........
Sadness, confusion, loneliness..a very disturbing feeling. I feel so sad rn. Very tired. I feel the feeling of confusion and a little bit of loneliness knowing I shouldn't. It's so many things I want and so many things I wanna see. I don't wanna be here anymore. I need to move.. but with no money and a baby it's only so far I can go.. I can feel something is going to happen to really test the strength of my mind and I hope I can bear it. I know I can but it's just like NO. I'm tired. I'm already confused. And sad to the bone. WHAT DO I DO! I'm forcing my mind to shut down slowly because I don't want to feel anything. Moving into a direction of empty cold. But literally that's not going to help me. But the more I smile the more I cry. The headaches, the ongoing movement without any movement really going at all. I just want to feel alive again. Where did I go wrong..when did I cross the line with myself ? And how do I fix it. I'm so tired..
