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On Tuesdays and Fridays, my mom helps out at Auntie Nikki's bakery in midtown. She usually doesn't make it home until later in the day. I typically use this time to see what's been going on with my daddy and to also update him on the current tea in my life. My dad serves as the perfect problem solver for me. He always knows exactly what to say and I love him for that.
I don't have to sugarcoat anything when talking to him unlike with my mom. I'm my true authentic self and he loves all of my imperfections. Not saying my mom doesn't, but she expects me to act a certain way or show interest in things she shows interest in. The pair is just different from one another which makes the saying "opposites attract" very true.
My daddy sat the empty tool box onto the raggedy wooden table. We've had this table since Rocky was a puppy and that was ages ago. I'm currently sitting in the garage with him while he works on building a birdhouse house. I'm guessing he's bored. All of his friends must be with their ole lady this afternoon. Him and my mom usually have date nights on Fridays, so I'm sure he'll be having enough fun for the both us in the next couple of hours.
"If you can't change the nigga—" My daddy took a look at me. "change the nigga."
"Stay with me now!" He yelled with his hands in surrender. "I've always showed you what a man should be providing which is stability, honesty, and protection. He should be taking away your problems, not adding to them. And damn sure not creating them. Life should be easier."
"I'm not gonna say easy because you are your own person with your own responsibilities outside of the relationship, but you shouldn't have to do anything other than blossom into your full feminine self. Feeling like you always have to be aggressive, loud, and ratchet means he ain't the one, Nene."
I nodded in agreement. "I know daddy, but I thought if I loved him enough it would stop...he would maybe love me back if I stayed through it all? He would finally see that we were made for each other and that I'm still here?"
Which is true. In the beginning everyone was all for Silas and I. It was the perfect love story. Two college kids with similar backgrounds and appearing to want the same things out of life ends up dating each other. They go as far as joining a sorority and fraternity together. It was almost perfect from the outside looking in.
That couldn't be anything further from the truth. I endured of heartache and pain throughout the whole relationship. Everything wasn't what it seemed and we were damn near into it every other day. It took a while for me to realize, but Silas and I were over the moment I went through that process alone.
I don't dare speak of that dark and depressing time in my life. What makes it even more depressing is the fact nobody knows but him. He's the only person I can share the pain with.
"Those sound like questions you need answers to." My daddy shrugged his shoulders. "I can't give insight on how Silas thinks or how he feels. What I do know is you are a beautiful young lady with a lot going for herself. Any man would be lucky to have you in their life."
