Brain and Nerve and Bounding Heart

9- Penultimate

  Áine woke the next morning, the early rays of weak sunlight filtered in through the curtains and the many vines that hung from the plants around her room. Yawning deeply, she drank in the calm of the early hour. The house was quiet, and she guessed that she was the only one awake. Sighing resolutely, she pushed the covers off of her body and welcomed the cool dawn air as it washed over her.
  She padded quietly to the toilet to freshen up, then headed downstairs to the kitchen to ready everyone's tea for the day. After all the merriment of the previous evening, she figured everyone in the house could use a bit of a kickstart to their morning routines. She waved her wand at the stove to set the kettle to work, reaching a hand into the junk drawer to grab her pruning scissors.
  Setting her wand down, she pinched a few leaves off of the plant behind the teapot, and then severed the very tip of an aerial root from a different pot to the left. With one wandless hand, she waved the freshly cut ingredients into the infuser.
"That's impressive."
The voice rang from somewhere behind her and she jumped, turning to see Sirius leaned against the back doorframe. He had his riding jacket on, and he looked devilishly handsome despite the exhaustion etched into his chiseled visage.
"Making tea is impressive? You haven't even tasted it yet." Áine replied, forcing a nonchalant tone despite the nervousness bubbling up inside her chest.
"You just levitated some weeds into a cup without your wand. That's impressive." He scoffed, pushing away from the door frame and taking a rather reluctant seat at the table.
"I didn't expect you back so soon, not after last night."
He shrugged, not answering. She readied the teapot, and sent cups and teapot to the table with another wave of her wandless hand.
"I've always been able to do magic without a wand. Not as strong, mind you- but strong enough for simple things." She explained, taking a tentative seat across from him. "I'm sorry about last night."
"Are you?" He returned, this time rather fierce.
"Well, yes I... I am. Should I not be?"
"You tell me, Áine. You're throwing me all these mixed signals. First you want me, then you don't. Then you're sorry because you do, but you also don't. Do you not realize what this is like for me?! Either be with me or don't be! Stop wavering between the two!"
"I'm sorry, alright?! I don't mean to be that way!" She retorted. "You don't understand... this is difficult for me too... but please don't try to pretend you know what it's like to walk in my shoes! Don't you realize that every fuckin' decision I make is for you? For them?"
  Silence stretched between them, and her words brought him abruptly back to reality. This wasn't a storybook romance. This was their life, and they were all in peril. Associating with her publicly would cement him as a blood-traitor, and she was only trying to protect him. Whatever his feelings were, they would have to come second. As much as he hated it she was right, they had bigger things to worry about than their would-be romance. Harry was a half- blood, and he had this possible tie to Voldemort because of this stupid prophecy. She had her priorities straight, and he needed to get on board.
"I'm sorry." He murmured after a moment.
  She shrugged, but he stood his ground.
"I mean it: I'm sorry. You're right. I don't want you to be right, but you are. I'm sorry. I just... in a perfect world..."
"In a perfect world maybe we'd live happily ever after and have ten babies that Harry could babysit someday. But this world we live in is not perfect, Sirius. That is not our reality. I'm sorry that sometimes I am human, and I give in to the way you make me feel. I'll try to not let that happen again. My intention is not trying to lead you on. I'm sorry."
  He couldn't respond, couldn't even look at her. In a perfect world they'd have ten babies... the thought nearly paralyzed him. This wasn't her fault, and he knew she was right. Yet, the hurt that this caused in his heart was nearly unbearable. He pushed himself to a stand, approaching her quickly and grasping one of her delicate hands in both of his.
"Don't apologize. Please. I understand, it's just that I wish this wasn't- never mind. I need some rest. It's been a long night."
"Take my bedroom, please."
"And have all your plants after me? I think not."
"Well what else will ya do? Ya can't sleep on the sofa, the whole house will be awake and swarming the area before you know it."
He thought for a moment. She was right, as usual. With a sigh he agreed and quickly exited the room. Áine let her head fall to the table and cursed her foolish actions.