Morphine - Sequel to Adrenaline

Chapter 6

2 years Earlier
Alyssa

We'd long since left behind the Special Operations agents. Time moved slower in Black Ops training. Having Elaine around made it easier, but I missed the boys and my parents. Of course, I wasn't allowed to say that out loud. I finished with my combat training and hit the shower in our small cabin in the woods. These days it was just Elaine and me with the occasional visit of our trainers. Our regiment had been outlined and we were expected to follow it to the letter. Visits from trainers usually meant they arrived in the dead of night, or when you were in the shower, and they loved to come in guns blazing. I had on many occasions, fought completely naked. The first time, I was absolutely mortified, but now it was just another facet of the trade.

Elaine had learned to sleep in shifts to help stave off the element of surprise, yet, they got us each time. It was something to be improved upon. The floor creaked outside of the bathroom. I turned my ear, continuing with my shower. When no one ripped the curtain away and held a .45 to my face, I rinsed. Elaine was already seated at the table with our breakfast, only oatmeal and cream of wheat these days. My body ached from days of trudging the trenches and fierce fighting drills. We ate quietly, using the silence to meditate towards the remainder of our schedule.
A free period of two hours was coming up, a special treat from the brass. After eating, I washed my dishes and stepped outside. Our property was a few miles from a local lake in the Montana National Forests. It was protected by park rangers to prevent random people from finding us. The sun had finally risen up high enough to be strong and cast its light on the reflective surface of the lake. It was the most peaceful time to visit. I sat down at the edge, taking off my shoes and socks to dip my toes in.

I enjoyed the solitude for a few minutes before my senses detected someone was coming up behind me. They walked quietly, but carried a presence. I couldn't help in smiling just as he made it and tapped me on the shoulder. I jumped into his arms, knocking him onto the ground. His arms wrapped around me as he laughed and kissed my face. Alex, always the bright spot of this strange world I lived in now. He brushed his fingers along my cheek, sliding a strong hand on the back of my neck to bring me down for a proper kiss on the lips. Our meetings were secret, yet not so secret.

Lydia knew, but she pretended not to notice when I snuck out at night to meet with Alex. It was strictly forbidden, romances in different ranks, especially mine where I was supposed to be hidden away from the world. I laid my head on his chest, closing my eyes. Our moments were rare, but utterly fulfilling. My body ceased to hurt and my mind stopped racing. He tangled his fingers into my hair asking me about my training. I didn't answer, I never could. He took my silence and filled it in with his missions. He had the fun assignments, overseas, but that meant that I couldn't see him very often. We stood, moving towards our hammock just out of sight. Resuming our previous position, he finished telling me about his latest mission in the middle east. It was strictly confidential, he was on the fast track to joining the Black Ops rank and had had a chance to do a few covert assignments.

He continued to fill in the silence, already used to it. I couldn't contribute much, my life was a constant riot, yet I had to keep quiet. Thank goodness I had Elaine to share this with. But there was a real reason behind my silence. Today would be the last day that we could see each other romantically. I didn't know how to bring it up. Breakups weren't my forte, and I didn't want to hurt him. It had started up last year during special operations training. He'd filled a strange void I didn't know could or had to be filled. But things were changing, and he couldn't get caught up in the IIA's plans.

I reached up to kiss his jaw, still unable to speak the words. He was too comfortable and while he had grown more mature in his feelings, I knew that heartbreak would be hard on him. The gesture, so intimate, ignited the deeper feelings between us. He'd been my first, and only, and it only seemed right to give in one last time. One final reminder of how much I loved him and still would no matter the distance between us. It was the right thing to do, to let go, and as Lee Ann Womack once said, I might hate myself in the morning, but I'm gonna love you tonight.