Somewhere In The Woods

Chapter Eight - Existential Crises

I woke up the next morning angry, so I decided to dress angry too. I wore a little black mini skirt with sheer black tights and knee-high platform boots. For the top, I chose my favorite tight black v-neck that read let him suffer across the chest in cherry red. Over it all, I wore a long black leather coat and put on a matching shade of red lipstick.

Can I give you a ride to school this morning, little red? Boris asked as I fixed my hair.

I just hoped he wouldn't find this outfit to be too much. I'd love that. I answered. There were few men who could make me second guess my fashion choices and the last two I'd ended up kicking in the balls.

The door to Annie's room opened and my sister seemed startled to see me. "You're wearing your angry outfit." She noted.

"Yeah, I am." I leaned forward and fixed my lipstick in the mirror.

"Is it because of our fight last night?" Annie asked.

I shrugged. "It's because of a lot of things."

My twin moved further into the bathroom, and I noticed her outfit was a bit different than yesterday's conservative one. Annie wore her little white silk dress that was tied in the front in a bow. It was short and the neckline was low, but she always managed to wear it in a way that made it feel innocent nonetheless. On her feet were wedge heels and in her hair was a pearl-covered headband, otherwise known as her lucky headband.

"Why are you wearing your lucky headband?" I asked. "You have a test today?"

"No," Annie shook her head. "Last night one of the football players started texting me, and we got to talking. We have a lot in common, and I want him to ask me out. So-" she reached up and tapped her headband with her polished nail- "lucky headband."

I nodded. "What's his name?"

"Kirshawn," Annie's mouth twitched up in a smile as she said his name, which in turn made me smile. "He's on the defensive line, and my god, Maggie, he's so tall! He's already got a scholarship for next year. He's going to play college football."

I smiled at her. "As long as he's a gentleman, I like him for you. Today, I want to meet him, okay? You know, after he asks you out the first chance he gets."

Annie turned bashful. "I don't know, I don't even know if he actually likes me or not! According to Grace, his last girlfriend was absolutely gorgeous." She said it like that meant she couldn't date the boy.

I put my arm around her shoulder and brought her forward so that she could look at herself in the mirror. "And what do you think you are?"

"I'm not like you, Maggie," Annie shook her head. "I'm not super confident and effortlessly pretty."

"Thanks for the compliment, Annie, but we look the same, if I'm effortlessly pretty, then so are you." I reminded her. Though I didn't think I was pretty like that, it didn't feel like the best time to mention it. "And Kirshawn knows it too. All he has to do is take one look at you, and he'll be in love with you. I know it, Grace knows it, but the only person who really has to know it is you. If you know it, Kirshawn will know it too."

"How do I know that?" Annie asked, her shoulders slumping.

I winked at her. "Take a deep breath, say fuck it, what's the worst that can happen? Then you walk in there with your head held high and let yourself notice the looks, the stares, and use them. You may not be confident, but they are confident that you look good, use their confidence as fuel." Annie made a face, not sure how to do that. "Confidence is a never-ending game of proving to yourself you have confidence. Don't let anyone ever tell you otherwise."