in the cards | marlene mckinnon

13. seasonal depression

Summer rolled around faster than anyone had realised, and soon enough they were all sent home. It felt isolating, in a way. Especially for those living either remotely or far from their friends.

Going from seeing people every day, sleeping in the same rooms and eating together every meal to nearly no contact at all came as a shellshock. Perhaps they should've gotten used to it already, having been through this five times before, but getting ripped from the comforting clutches of familiarity was never going to be easy.

Marlene always felt the same whiplash. Going from seeing poster covered walls, cluttered dressers and brightly painted smiles to carefully orchestrated dinners and barren perfection, it would never become easy for her.

Her hair was expected to be combed the second she stepped out of her room. Her clothes should be ironed and smart. Her posture straight.

She wasn't even allowed to choose her own nail varnish, always the same blush pink she had grown to despise.

Marlene felt utterly suffocated.

According to the ever-so-perfect Eleanor McKinnon, gloomy colours reflected negatively on their well-respected family. So her trademark black or dark polish was out of the question.

Marlene wasn't a pushover, she had valiantly tried time and time again. but the posters she hung would always be gone by the morning, her nail varnish vanished, her clothes folded and sorted through meticulously.

Because what self respecting witch wore clothes with holes in them? Or, Merlin forbid, anything that showed even the slightest bit of cleavage. 

Luckily, Marlene found some solace in her brothers. After all, they had experienced nearly the same thing. But they were all boys, they didn't have to dress up in ridiculous gowns and be shown off like cattle.

Jonathan and Christopher, the first and third of the McKinnon children, had already gotten married.

She sometimes forgot about the age-gap they had, she hadn't even turned seventeen yet, but her brothers had already lived half a life.

Jonathan was 28 years old, Matthew coming close after at 26. Christopher had yet to turn 24 so at least she had someone somewhat close to her in age. 

Marlene spent her days locked away in her room, writing letters that her mother threw out the second she laid eyes on a single swear word or odd remark. She was genuinely contemplating staying with Lily for the rest of the summer, but she would rather live with The Giant Squid than be a bother.  

Somewhere between the unsent letter, she managed to sneak some behind her father's back. Most addressed to Lily, Mary or Dorcas. But also the odd one to James or Nora.

She received replies from Lily, Dorcas and James, as expected. She knew Mary couldn't reply as her muggle parents weren't the most fond of owls, nevermind the fact that her dad was completely terrified of them.

What did hurt was that Nora didn't reply, not that it mattered. They were barely friends in the first place. But she felt like shit that she had put herself out there, multiple times, just for her to not receive a single reply. Not even a shitty apology.

She could only hope summer would fly by as fast as the end of school always did. Merlin knew, if it didn't, she might lose her mind long before getting the chance to return.

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Nora spent the entirety of her summer outside surrounded by greenery.

Even if she hadn't volunteered to help Evan out in his carefully nursed garden, he likely would've made her. Though, the term 'volunteer' should be used loosely, as she mostly just sat somewhere near him whilst he worked and she read or drew.