Ever since Jinni interrupted us yesterday—our almost-kiss—I’ve barely been able to keep myself composed. I wanted to scream at her for stepping in. I was going to kiss Chaewon, and she was going to let me.
Maybe if I had kissed her, I could finally stop feeling this suffocating guilt. Maybe then I’d stop thinking about her every waking second.
There was no denying it: I found her attractive the first time I saw her. But if I had kissed her, it would have proved it was nothing more than physical attraction. She was beautiful, yes, but that’s where it should end.
If only she hadn’t dated Sunwoo.
No, that’s not true. I wouldn’t have cared about her at all if it weren’t for him—the cheater, the manipulative snob who never deserved someone like her.
How could someone so innocent, so naive, date someone like him?
When Yichen had challenged me to break them up, it felt like the perfect excuse. I could mask the fact that I had imagined them breaking up a thousand times already. Not for any noble reason, but because the thought of her being with him had always unsettled me in ways I didn’t want to acknowledge.
“Why are you coming back so late?”
I froze mid-step. My father’s voice carried through the quiet house, heavy and deliberate.
He was sitting on the couch, waiting for me. Of course, he’d been waiting.
“I was at the library,” I replied, turning to face him. My eyes instinctively dropped to the floor, studying the scuffed tips of my shoes as though they were the most fascinating thing in the world.
“Good,” he said simply, patting my back with a calculated gentleness before walking past me.
Just before disappearing into his study, he stopped and added, “I’ll be visiting your school tomorrow. Be on your best behavior.”
I nodded absentmindedly, my thoughts already elsewhere.
He knew, of course. He always knew.
He knew I wasn’t at the library. He knew I’d been at a club, drinking, dancing, making out with strangers. He knew all the ways I tested the limits of his patience.
But that wasn’t what mattered to him. No, what mattered was my rank. If I lost my position as the top student, I’d embarrass him again. I’d disgrace the family name like I did when I slipped to second place once, prompting my transfer to Seoul High.
“You were weak, Niki. Don’t let it happen again.”
That memory gnawed at the edges of my mind as I lay in bed, staring at the ceiling.
I shouldn’t be here.
If Mother hadn’t died—if I hadn’t been the reason she died—everything would have been different.
If it had been me instead...
Would she still be alive? Would things be better?
The questions came in waves, crashing relentlessly, until I felt the first tear slip down my cheek. The salty tang reached my lips before I even realized I was crying.
And so I cried until my throat burned, until exhaustion overtook me and I drifted into a restless sleep.
“Young Master, Mr. Nishimura has requested you leave with him after school,” the driver said softly the next morning, patting my shoulder as I climbed out of the car. Even he knew this day wasn’t going to end well for me.
As I stepped onto campus, my gaze instinctively sought her out.
And there she was.
Chaewon and Jinni had just exited a car, laughing as they waved goodbye to a man in his mid-twenties. He called out after them, his voice obnoxiously loud.
“Jagiya, do well!”
Her laughter. That carefree, radiant laughter.
It made my blood boil.
I clenched my jaw, my fists tightening at my sides. Why was she laughing at that ridiculous nickname? Why was she letting him call her that?
She’s mine.
I rolled my eyes, shaking the thought from my head as I strode past them. But not before my shoulder collided with his, hard enough to make my point clear.
Her gaze briefly flicked to me, and I didn’t miss the flicker of surprise in her eyes.
Good. Let her wonder. Let her feel the way she’s been making me feel every day since I met her.
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niki's background finally. and twenty one chapters, wooho, cant believe i wrote sm 😳
