Karnak's Reality of Death

2. Penny

I had a nightmare. A really, really bad one.

I like dreams, I find them interesting. I like how nothing makes sense. How se never see the people's face. We see black shadows, and our brain labels it. I like how we can see the most ridiculous things, but we live it and feel it like it is how the world have always worked. I like nightmare a lot, usually. They are more fun and cool to tell, even tho I rarely had someone to tell about them.

What was I talking about ? Oh, yes, my nightmare. This one wasn't a cool one. I was back on the Cyclone. I had the sentation I was falling, even tho the cart was perfectly fine. I knew it wouldn't be for a long time, but I wasn't able to tell anybody. I guess Karnak felt the same way about us. Soon, I fell. My body went through the seat and flew me in the air. No one seemed to notice or to care. I held to my doll. My life depended on it. Below, a metal string. I knew this one, it was my last sight, when I died. I fell. I was getting closer. Closer. Closer. In a dream, your fall can last for an eternity. You feel it like it is real and logic, because it is... a dream. I looked at my doll, searching a solution, an answer. It had Karnak's face, now. His bright eyes were blinding me, his voice, deafening me.

"THE ONE WHO WANTS TO WIN IT THE MOST SHALL REDEEM THE LOSERS IN ORDER TO COMPLETE... THE WHOLE"

What did it mean, what-

Black. Again, I forgot everything. Only this sentence, and the darkness. What did it feel like, to know nothing but darkness ? I feels empty. I didn't know how to function. How to feel, how to smile, or what was my own doll doing in my hands. I met my friends, the choir. They didn't know I was there, but I could see them, from behind the curtain. As I was watching them, my sensations began to make sense. Arm. Arm. Foot. Foot. Mouth. I had them. They made me feel something new. Sounds. By hitting their feet on the floor, by claping their hands, by making noises with their mouths. I understood these noises. They are called words, I think. I made a step toward them. My very first step. I almost fell. I felt something new : fear. Somehow, it made me happy. They were feeling the same thing, I could sense it. And I made my first noice with my mouth, a small squeak. I tried to do it again, to act like them, to speak words. The first thing that came to me was :

"My... Name... Is..."

I was sure there was one more word, but I couldn't put my finger on it. I didn't have a name. A voice whispered in my ears. It was the novelty machine that was talking to the choir. He told me about what happened to my head. I had a head, so I didn't quite understand. He knocked on it. Ting ! Ting ! Ting ! He showed me my doll, that didn't have a head anymore. I had my doll's head, instead of mine. For some reason, it made me sad, to see the doll broken. He also told me to not talk to the other kids too much, because he didn't want me to get attached to them. He said that he would make the necessary so that I would get brought back to life. He ordered that I wait for his signal.

"Let me introduce you... the mystery contestant", he claimed.

The curtains opened, and the light focused on me. My eyes hurt. I opened my mouth, ready to introduce myself, but... nothing came. The kids were looking at me, simply standing here. I tried to move, but nothing happened. I looked at each one of them, seeking help, unable to do anything. In my head, Karnak was pressing me to speak. But it was impossible. I tried, and tried, and tried, screaming in my head. I felt a split on my forehead. Karnak sighed, disappointed.

"Jane Doe... conceeds"

And the curtains closed, leaving me in the dark, without John, forever, eternally, Jane Doe.

I woke up, sweating, crying for help. Of course, no parent came, like they didn't come to identify my body. I held myself, trying to calm down. I let go all the tears that needed to run. After ten minutes, I went to the bathroom. I looked the mirror. My face was a complete mess. I splashed water on it, but I still had red eyes. I had flashbacks from the accident. While touching my neck, I felt something weird. I inspected it under the light more atentively, and saw a light line, going all around my neck. I went back to my bed... to grab my doll instead and go back to the bathroom. I didn't tell the others, but during the ride, my doll's head broke, and got detached from the body. I held my headless doll at the height of my neck. I observed. The border of the doll's neck had exactly the same shape as my scar. At this point, it didn't give me big news, and I was way too tired to worry about anything. I went back to my room, put my doll on its little chair, and laid back down in my bed. I grabbed my phone, on my night table to check the hour. 3am. I had a new message from Ricky, on Instagram. I never talked to him. I mean, he can't talk, but he can visibly text people, and he never texted me. I opened my DMs.

Hey, Penny. I didn't forget you, you know ?

He sent the message not long after I came home. I must have missed it, I slept as soon as I touched my matress.

Why didn't you tell me my real name ?

He got online a few seconds later. Does this man ever sleep ?

Ehm, it's awkward, but I didn't know it. I learned it from Karnak. You never told me, and I couldn't ask. And the others called you "doll girl" all the time.

I guess my nickname suited me better when I was dead, LOL.

Is this the kind of joke I can laugh at ?

No.

Ok...

I waited a bit, ready to go back to sleep.

Actually, you know what, I told you your real name. He finally sends.

He sent me a picture of a notebook he wrote in. Probably his diary. "Wednesday, January 2nd. We did our New Years concert. Our songs were lame, but it was fine, because I didn't have to sing. I like my place, in the choir. Ocean and Constance do their show, Mischa looks at his smartphone, and Noel does his best to not die from an anxiety attack. Savannah is behind me. She doesn't sing really loud, but she has a pretty voice, and I'm maybe the only one to hear it. I feel like I pay a hommage to her work."

Savannah is the name I gave you in my head. I must admit that I liked the idea of being the only one to know your name, instead of being the only one not to know it :)

Are you hitting on me, Ricky ?

No, you know I am in a closed relationship with the cat-women from Zolar. I thought I made a clear enough show about it ;)

Your song was cool.
You should sing it ag- (I deleted the second text for obvious reasons) (he has no voice)

I wonder what would your song have been, if you had your memories

Probably a song about cinnamon.

Cinnamon ?

I like cinnamon.

We continued talking like that for pretty much the rest of the night. I wanted to sleep, but Ricky kept sending me messages I wanted to answer. I think I fell back asleep around 5:30am.