TW: throw up (if you get grossed out easily don't read this), sh, alcohol, and cigarettes
Lightbulbs POV:
How do I tell my friends that I'm not actually female.. I MEAN I AM!! But I'm trans... male to female, and what if they make fun of me, hate me, stop hanging out with me, hurt me, or even kill me.. WHAT AM I THINKING OF COURSE THEY'LL SUPPORT!! Right...?
"Lighty, you good?" I hear painty say "y..yeah just lost in my thoughts!!" I say as happy as I could "alright" fan says shrugging "lightbulb, are you sure..?" Test tube says worried. God damit I made another person worry... "YEP!!" I say loudly "QUITE DOWN" I hear knife yell "oh.. sorry.." I say quietly.. I have to tell them!! How do I come out... UGH!! I might just have some drinks or something to keep my mind off this, "one sec guys!!" I say with a bright smile "what are you doing??" Fan asks "getting some drinks" i say "what's wrong" painty says annoyed "NOTHING!" I say grabbing a pack of beer "you only drink when your depressed.." test tube says worried. I open the bottle and start drinking "stop overreacting" I say yawning "OVERREACTING!!" Painty says as sparks fly from their hair "wait painty that's not what I meant..." I say sluggishly "deep breaths, deep breaths..." painty says breathing in and out "I...I'm gonna go upstairs..." I say sadly "oh alright" fan says. I run upstairs into my room locking the door behind me. I don't care that testy will come back I just need space "how....do I tell them.." I sniffle. I take another sip of my beer then I look up "how to come out to your friends" ig that's ok.. well i guess the best thing is to do it face-to-face... I run back downstairs with my beer in hand "GUYS!! Can I tell you something..." I say taking another sip of beer "what is it!!" Testy says worried "well... how do I say this..." I say sweating "just say it!! We won't laugh.." fan says "fine... I'm trans...mtf" I say as my eyes start to water "lightbulb..." painty whispers "I'm sorry, I'll stop talking to you guys...." I say tears streaming down my cheeks. "NO DONT LEAVE!!" Testy yells "w...why, you guys obviously don't support...." I say "we do, we're just worried about you.." Testy says in response "why... there's nothing to worry about!!" I say wiping tears off my face
(there's a lot to worry about 💥💥)
"lighty, be honest!!" I see painty say "IM BEING HONEST!!" I scream "OH LIGHTBULB YOU WANT ME TO MAKE YOU SAY THE TRUTH!!!!" Painty yells as I cover my mouth. I run upstairs and lock myself in my bathroom. No one has a key for our bedroom except for testy and Oj (bc he owns the hotel) , so testy will probably come into our room. I'll have the best luck not being caught in the bathroom.... I remember about the beer in my hand then I look in my pocket and find some cigarettes and a pencil sharpener. Perfect!! I have some coins in my pants pocket, that'll probably help unscrew the screw on my sharpener (don't do this irl please ☹️) I take apart the sharpener and hold the blade in my hand, but then I feel banging on the door. Fuck!! "Lightbulb let us in!!" I hear testy yell in a shaky voice "uh, coming!!" I say as I roll my sleeves down and put my 'stuff' back into my pocket. I open the door to see my best friends all in a panic to open the door "guys I'm fine, really!" I say happily but then painty hugs me "lightbulb, never scare us like that again!!" They say looking scared "i scared you guys!!????" I say surprised "YES!!" Fan yells tackle hugging me. "O..oh" I mutter as my eyes start watering "and you know you didn't need to be worried about coming out!! I'm trans too!!" Fan says "you are?!?!??" I scream "YEAH!!!!" Fan screams back. I hug back "hey let's get some dinner!!" I hear testy say less shaken up. Fuck I have to eat, I'm already overweight!! Ig I'll just have to throw up my dinner again... we start walking downstairs and I smell the smell of chicken or something. Idk Paper always makes us food, he's really good at it!! We grab our food and head back upstairs to eat in my room. Fuck!! I start eating so I don't worry my friends.. I feel sick to my stomach....i finished eating, now time to get it out my system.... "I'm gonna go to the bathroom!!" I say running into the bathroom and locking the door, I grab my toothbrush then sit in-front of the toilet and start putting my toothbrush into my mouth until I start gagging, it's working. I feel the food rise up from my throat... I throw up, ew it's yellow with chunks of chicken, I gag again just looking at it.... I wipe my mouth off with my hands then I flush the toilet feeling a bit better.... "Lightbulb your back!!" Fan shouts waving "what took you so long???" Painty asks, oh no... "n..nothing!!" I say as happy as I could "come watch a movie with us!!" Testy says waving me over. I walk over to see their watching something called human centipede, it's a horror movie.... I'm fine, I'm not a baby, I sit next to test tube and grab her arm... this movies weirder than I thought, I close my eyes and fall asleep somehow. But now I'm stuck here with my thoughts, my stupid thoughts.... Hopefully I don't wake up screaming again, just think nice... sh, STOP THINKING ABOUT THE THROW UP... STOP, STOP!!! "wake up!!" Testy says as I wake up "you were hugging me really tightly, are you ok...." Testy asks "I...." I can't mutter up anything JUST SHUT UP!!! SHUT THE FUCK UP!!! YOUR SO ANNOYING!!! LIGHTBULB NO ONE CARES ABOUT YOUR PROBLEMS!! JUST- "lightbulb please be honest..." testy says "I'm fine!!!" I say, it's all I can say...
A/N testy has a lot to worry about 🥱 (total words 1049)
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RandomHUMANIZED Tw: $h, suicidal thoughts, smoking, swearing, and alcohol Lightbulb feels that she isn't good enough and starts sh, she acts like nothing happened tho. She's always happy and optimistic so no one suspects a thing, lightbulb has been keepin...
