Looking Back

Part 2, $40

Tears flowed down my cheek continuously, as I packed my few belongings into a small briefcase my Papa used to use for work. I packed my small notebook along with a pen, a precious gift from my Grandma before her passing, a couple items of clothing, a small piece of soap for my travels, and a handkerchief my older brother bought me from his first payment.

As I set the briefcase down, my Mama came into the room, with tears in her eyes. I knew she didn't want me to go. I was her favourite, the one she could rely on. I tried to say something but the words would get stuck in my throat. My Mama came closer and embraced me.

"I'm so sorry. I don't want you to go but you know your Papa, once he has his mind made up he won't budge." she cried. Her body started shaking as tears started flowing uncontrollably from both of us.

"Here," she sobbed, as she held my hand and put her closed fist over my palm. "I want you to have this." I felt something fall into my hands but they stayed on top of mine. "Please, don't tell Papa I gave you this. He will beat me and your siblings and you when you return if he finds out ." And with that she let go of my hand and walked out.

I glanced at my hand, my eyes and mouth widening after finding 2 $20 notes in my hand!! This was enough money to buy food for the whole family for a month at least, 2 if we use it sparingly! I wanted to run after Mama and thank her a thousand times over, but remembered what she said about Papa. I kissed the money then tucked it away safely into an inside pocket in the briefcase.

After I rested the briefcase, I waltzed into the kitchen to wash up the breakfast dishes my siblings left on the table before leaving for school on their own. My insides were moving about as I now also saw an upside to leaving my family. I could now have my own paycheck, and buy myself new clothes and shoes! I would also save enough to come back and visit, and after saving for a lot of time, give my Mama money so that she would never have to work again!

My happiness soon faded, as my Papa entered the kitchen, demanding that I make a last dinner for my siblings. Papa told me he would wake me up early, and take me to the carriage Mr. Williams left for us to take us to the ship. I nodded solemnly, as I felt conflicted. Would Papa hurt my dear Mama if she couldn't do all the things without me?