Only The Beginning

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Never would I have ever thought that this day would come at such an early age. I have now found myself in a sticky situation, kind of like between a rock and a hard place... My name is Chanel Bermudez and I'm pregnant at the age of 13.

When I was younger and pictured myself at the age of 13, I pictured the sweetest girl. Now that I am pregnant, I have given everyone the right to call me fast or easy. I've tried to contact my boyfriend Roy a thousand times to help me figure out what I should do, but he's not there for at all. I can feel the distance from him ever since we had intercourse. I would've never did it if I knew it was going to turn out like this. I can't tell my mother this news, she'll kill me. My mother is very judgmental and will never understand. She'll tell me "leave" or might even try to beat the baby out of me. Now, I'm sitting here on my bathroom floor with the pregnancy test in my hand thinking should I abort this innocent human? Or keep this baby and face the consequences.

I keep asking myself "Why?" over and over again. I have so much potential to do great things and now an obstacle has been put in my way. I then thought to myself "Maybe God has done this for a reason...maybe this child growing inside of me belongs on this Earth." Every time I would think like that, I then second guess myself, and make myself believe this baby should be ridden of immediately. I'm fighting this battle all by myself and if I can't provide this child with substantial needs, then why should it be here? It feels like it's me versus the world, I am fighting this battle all by myself. Nobody will understand what I will grow through for the next couple of months. Sooner or later, I must break the news to my mother and Roy before I start showing.

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