I am 3 months so far and today is the day I will tell my mother. I have contemplated on this for a while now, but I finally got enough courage to just tell her. A million emotions are running through my mind as I leave off the bus. I notice something odd though as I walk to my front door. There 4 suitcases in front of the door. I see my mom giving me a blank stare as I ask, "What are these suitcases here for?" She goes, "How could you not tell me me Chanel Lacey Bermudez?" At that moment, I knew she knew. I was so terrified in the inside, that you could see my heart beating through my chest. My palms were sweaty and I mumbled, "I didn't know how to tell you, I was your little sweet girl." She said, "How do you tell your best friends before me? Your mother!" I asked, "Who told you?" She said, "your best friend, the lovely Kye, the virgin, the one that will not get pregnant at the age of 13!" At this point I wanted to kill Kye! Kye knew how important it was for me to tell my mom, I feel so betrayed right now. My mom said, "And those suitcases you see, yeah those are for you. You and the baby father aren't living near me!" I replied, "This child doesn't have a dad." My mom laughed and said, "Ha, let me guess, he took your virginity, got you pregnant, and doesn't want to face the consequences. Am I right?" I said, "Yes, 100% right." She said, "That's what you get! You deserve everything coming to you." My mom is sending me to live with my grandma. Where my grandma live, it's very dangerous. Four crack houses are just a block away from her house. This is not a safe environment for me to be in, why would my mother send me here? I can't believe this is actually happening, my mom is putting me out like I don't mean anything to her.
In these past months, I have been through so much. Now I am faced with another challenge. Arriving at my grandma's house gave me a nostalgic feeling considering the fact that I haven't been in here in 3 years and I remember this place as fun, warm loving house. But all that has changed. It is no longer just my grandmother living here, but 5 other people are here and I am forced to sleep on a hard sofa. At this point, I could just run away from it all, but I'm trying to hold on because things get better in time.. right? Nope, it really doesn't. For me, things actually get worse. My grandmother just told me that I will no longer be attending school. I say, "But grandmother, why?" She says, "Your mom doesn't want her child to go to school pregnant! And I don't blame her!" Now my mother is stopping my education, is it really worth doing all this just because I'm pregnant? Getting an education is the least I can do. This is just another on why I can't stand my mother's judgmental ways. So they think I am just going to sit here and not anything for the next 6 months? They got it twisted. Real twisted.
