" Auntie dallas and uncle mike were being mean to each other today" dylan stated as we got home from dallas's house " were you and mommy ever mean to eachother"? dylan asked , apart of me wanted to tell him no of course me and your mother wee never mean to eachother we never fought but that would be a lie because like anyother couple me and demi had our share of fights. " yes me and mommy had been mean to eachother beofre but if your mean to someone of aruge with someone its shows you love them so much that it causing you to get angry when they dont agree with something or dont listen to what you say but if you turly love eachother you will always make up" I stated probaby going into too much deatial for a six year old but it was like if something inside me felt guilty and felt the need to explin why me and demi had ever argued or had been mean to eachother. I remeber when demi and I our first big fight.
* Flash Back *
It had been four months since demi had her first chemo treatment and demi wasnt showing any signs of getting better at all honestly she just seemed to be getting worse. By now she had lost all her hair completly at first she struggled with being bald but now he gotten used to it her best friend miley had even brought her a costum made wig but demi usually opted just to wear a scarf around her head she thought they were much prettier than wearing something completly made from strangers hair even though she wore extentions multiple times but it was different because none of this was hers and it kinda made her feel empty and now demi was much skinner than she had ever been anyone could tell she was sickly whether you knew what was going on or not you knew somthing was wrong. About a month ago the media had found out about demis story and from then on she had been on the cover any tabloid you would see. "Wilmer sighed as he looked over at demi who was sleeping soundly in a hospital bed" they were yet again in the hospital when they werent supposed to be demi had been feeling more sick than usual and couldnt keep anything down and she had rn a high fever so she was rushed to the hospital right away. Wilmer saw how the doctors and nurses would look when they whisphered to eachother he knew what they were saying but he would not let thier looks get to him in his mind his wife was no where near dying even though everyone seemed to know that was her fate except for wilmer he was bind to any reality that came with demis illness. "Wilmer can we talk"? demi asked she had woken up about 10 mintues ago and for those ten mintues she has st in silece wondering how sh would tell wilmer what she wanted to do knowing that wilmer would not take it well she was dying and there was nothing she could do to stop she knew this and she was okay with but he needed to be to because demi was tried of this treatment that wasnt even benifiting her if she was going to die with or without treatment she rather do without she rather spend the rest of time with her son her bhusband and the rest of her famiy then waist a week in the hospital and then the rest of the moth feeling she for some unsucessfu treatment. " sure angel what do you need to tell me "? wilmer asked moving his chair closer to her he could tell by the tone of her voice that she had to speak about something serious . Demi took a deep breather wilmer........I-I cant do this anymore" she breathed out as wilmer gave her a confused look "cant do what "? wilmer asked puzzled by her words " i cant do this anymore the hospitals the treatment the feeling sick for the rest of the month after , not having enegry to spend time with you and dylan or anyone else i cant do it any more i dont want to do it anymore and im not going to do it anymore wilmer im stopping my treatment and im going to let the cancer take it course demi stated wilmer couldnt believe his ear maybe they were betraying him maybe she didnt just sa that she was stopping treatment she couldnt do that how was supposed to live she couldnt just let herself die like that hadnt she though of dylan hadnt she thought of him hell hadnt she thought of anyone? " Demi your being rediculous you cant just stop treatment like this think of what will happened to you in the end? wilmer said trying to convince demi that this was the wrong option she couldnt just throw everything they had been through in the past to months away. "yes wilmer i know whats going to happen if i stop treatment im going to DIE! and if i countinue treatment IM GOING TO DIE! unfornatly wilmer its a lose lose suitation and you heard the doctors you see the looks on thier faces wilmer they all know IM GOING TO DIE AND I DONT HAVE A LOT OF TIME LEFT EITHER SO WHY DONT YOU MAN UP AND FACE TH REALITY OF IT ALL JUST LIKE EVERYONE ELSE!! I KNOW HURTS BUT GOD DAM IT WILMER DO YOU THINK I WANT TO DIE? DO YOU THINK I WANT TO LEAVE YOU? DO YOU THINK I WANT TO LEAVE DYLAN NO OF COURSE NOT BUT HELL I DONT HAVE A CHOICE THIS IS MY FATE AND IM GOING TO HAVE TO DEAL WITH IT JUST LIKE YOU WILMER ONE WAY OR ANOTHER YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE TO ACCEPT TO THE FACT THAT AND IM DYING AND THERES NOTHING ANYONE CAN TO DO TO STOP IT "! demi tried to catch her breath as she waited for him to say something all that yelling had taken a lot out of her and her constant tears that she couldnt stop didnt hlp very much either. " HOW COULD YOU SAY STUFF LIKE THAT HOW CAN YOU BE OKAY WITH THE FACT THAT YOU WONT BE HERE ANYMORE YES I KNOW TREATMENT ONT SAVE YOU BUT SHIT DEMI MAYBE IT WILL HELP YOU BE HERE LONGER YOUR SAYING THAT ITS NOT BUT DEMI YOU JUST STARTED HOW WOULD YOU KNOW HOW COULD JUST GIVE UP ON YOURSELF LIKE THIS DONT YOU THINK ABOUT ANYTHING BUT YOURSELF DEMI THIS AFFECTS ALOT MORE PEOPLE THAN JUST YOU AND YOU KNOW THAT YOU SAY THAT YOU DONT WANT TO LEAVE ME AND DYLAN WELL DEMI HONSETLY YOU SURE AS HELL DONT SOUND LIKE IT HOW COULD SOMEONE THAT DOSENT ANT TO DIE B E SO OKAY WITH THE FACT SHES DYING"!! wilmer yelled furiously with tears streaming at this point he wasnt even crying because of what she said he was crying because he was so scared of losing her he didnt know what he would do when she gone how could he move on with his life if the person it revoled around was gone? " seriously after everything i just said to you that wht you said to me youre telling me that im selfish and dont think about anyone else wilmer your the selfish one your sitting here yelling at me because you dont know how your going to survive after im gone well wilmer you hve to grow some fucking balls and figure out what to do because like i said before i dont have much time. wilmer just sat tear face buried in his hands tears streaming down his face demi just shook her head she couldnt deal with this right she couldnt deal with him she couldnt stay in that room and watch him break like that because it turly was killing her more to watch him so fragile. Demi didnt care that she still in a very weak condition she needed some air so she was going to go for a walk whether she was aloud to or not. wilmer hadnt even noticed that demi had slowly manged t leave the room he was too wrapped up in his own sarrows to notice anything going on around him. Demi was walking fast breathing heavily while her heartbest pounded in her ears suddenly taking a walk wasnt such a good idea she could hear people yelling after her as she tried to walk faster she didnt want to stop she needed to cler her head but soon the voices coming from behind were faint and her visin was blurred and soon everything faded to balc as she fell to ground
Wilmer wanted to cry more but he was out of tears all he could do was look at demi lying in the hospital bed in the icu unit she had been moved to after she had fainted in the hallway and the doctors said she wasnt looking good. Wilmer felt so guilty none of this would of happened if he wold have just supported her choice but no he had to argue and now he paying for it because his short time with his wife may have just been shortened even more all because of him..........
