'Why So Tense?' Harringrove

Not Enough

⚠️! Cursing, Mention Of Abuse,
Pervert Talking, Self Harm, Graphic Gross Details Of Gore/Blood, Mention Of Suicide!⚠️

(Steves POV)

i walk in the door, its now about 7:26 i hear voices "Steve! were hungry" Lucas cry's out "alright, well, I'm tired i'll just order food" i say closing the door behind me, and walking over to the kitchen "i want pizza" Dustin says, everyone agrees except for El "theres eggo's in the fridge by the way, El" i say smiling, she gets up and starts opening the boxes.  i felt eyes on me "sooo.. how was your date?" Lucas says "with a guy" dustin and will add, smiling at me "it was good, why do you ask?" i say curious "did you kiss?" dustin says laughing making a kissy face "maybe, maybe we did Henderson.." i look away flustered "ooh~ you gonna tell us who it is?" Mike says laughing"nope" i say, looking back "did you guys fuc-" dustin stopped, i looked at him dead in the eyes.  basically a death stare "watch what you say Henderson"  i say in a scary tone "okay, okay-!" he looks away, i walk outside to my back yard and am now on the porch sitting on the edge, i order the food and then call billy, my love.

"hey, how you been?" i say "hey pretty boy, doing good how about you?" he says, smiling, and i could tell.  "iv'e been good, i was wondering if .." i stop myself and then speak again "if we could .. meet again?" i laugh lightly to myself "of course my love, i missed you anyway" he says in a certain tone of voice, that was super hot.  i'm flustered and decide to answer him "this week, again around 3pm?" i smile "i was thinking of the park again, i don't want people around the park while we fuck.  i rather it be around 7pm isn't that right darling?" he says, i blush and start to look around and panic "i- uhm" i blush even more imagining us .. fucking.  "7pm it is.." i chuckle, and hang up kicking my feet back and fourth "holy shit.." i whisper to myself "who was that~?" voices tease behind me, shit! they heard all of it, i turn to find everyone but El standing there.  "how much did you hear?!" i groan in annoyance "when you said you wanted to meet them again around 3pm" dustin smiles, i turn my head looking up at the night sky "just tell us who it is!" mike says "you'll figure it out sooner or later" i laugh "he's my boyfriend, i'm sure you'll see him around me a lot" i get grab a pack of smokes from my pocket, and light one "steve you said you quit smoking!" dustin says yelling at me, i forgot they were even there "what can i say? i'm a good liar i guess" i laugh, i blow smoke out and a hand snatches my pack of cigarettes out of my hands "dustin! give me those back" i say, getting off the edge of my porch "these are bad for you" Lucas says "yea, you shouldn't smoke" mike says agreeing with Lucas "fine, whatever" i drop my cigarette and stomp on it, walking in the house, dustin puts my pack of cigarettes in the garbage.  i hear a knock on the door "pizza!" dustin cry's out in a growling starved empty stomach, i open the door "for Steve Harrington?" the pizza guy says "yes, thats me" i smile "that'll be $23.00" they say, i turn around a yell out "can you grab my wallet?!" i say, all the kids run over fighting over on who should give it to me "guys, please just hand me my wallet" i chuckle a little, i get my wallet from dustin a smile "thanks" and get out around $23 with a $10 tip "thank you so much, enjoy your food" they smile and leave, i grab the food and close the door with my free hand "foods here" i smile and put it down on the dinning room table "eat up, i'll be in my room if you need me" i walk up the stairs and go into my room.

30 minutes later

i was reading a book with my glasses on, and changed from the fancy clothes.  now i'm in sweats and a t-shirt, along with all the makeup washed off. until i heard a knock on my door "theres someone at the front door.. we don't know who it is" the four boys say. (mike, will, dustin, Lucas)
"alright hold on, give me a minute" i get up and bookmark my book, closing it and taking off my reading glasses.  i walk down the stairs and open the door, it was ... tommy H?! i had the kids in the kitchen, so i got outside and closed the door behind me "what are you doing here?!" i whisper "i missed you.. and your beautiful smile Harrington" he says "Tommy, what do you want?" i say, fed up with his shit "i was gonna ask if you'd be my boyfriend again.." he smiles lightly "tommy listen, i have a boyfriend already.. and we broke up 2 years ago! get over it" i say yelling at him, we argue for a good 20 minutes, the kids heard a lot.  not all if it, just some of it, but they still had no idea who that was.  "thats why your father never gave a single fuck about you! thats why your parents left you!" he screams at me "what the fuck is wrong with you!" i yell back, he slaps me.  "fuck you! i never even liked you!" he walks off, i put my hand up to feel the side of my face "shit.." i whisper under my breath and hold back tears.

i walk through the door "who was that?" dustin says, all of their heads were down, waiting for the yelling to be over.  "just an old friend .." i smile and they pick their heads up "explain the big red hand mark on your face then!" mike says, everyone runs over, along with El from the kitchen. they hug me "guys-! i'm fine!" i say as i'm squeezed in the arms of dustin, will, El, mike, Lucas. they stop hugging me and look at my face, it was beat badly "who was he Steve? i heard you say the word tommy, is that his name?" Will says "its an old friend from high school,
don't worry about it, he just stopped by to ask me something." i say, walking up the stairs, halfway up the stairs El speaks "liar, he slapped you" she says "i know.." i say quietly "he was your.." she stops "ex?" she says with a frown "yup.." i pop the 'P' in sadness "wow, you really need to fill us in sometime" Dustin says "i will, sometime" i say smiling "he said something that made you upset" El says again "it was about my father, don't worry about it." i frown and walk up the stairs. they looked at me as i walked up the stairs.

(3rd Person POV)

"he's holding back tears and trying to not worry us" El says as she points to his room, she closes her eyes and goes back into her mind "he's crying" she says, the boys look worried and decided to leave steve alone for now.

bad idea.

(Steve POV)

i get into my room, crying and begging god to take me off this world "why do you make me suffer on this damn world?!" i cry out, hoping for an answer. i'm on my bed crying into my pillow, until i turn my head to the .. blade on my dresser, i smile and grab the blade. i cut deep into my skin, on my forearm, to the point where is was gushing blood from how wide the scars were peeling, i cried. i felt as if i wasn't enough, you don't understand.. i can't stand the pain that passes by. i should've killed myself when i had the chance, i remember my father yelling at me, grabbing my wrist and leaving a mark, slapping and punching me until i begged him to stop. i was 9. somehow that little 9 year old boy is still here, in my soul, and he's empty.

i watch as the blood drips down onto my sheets, stretching the scars out every time i moved hurt, but i didn't care. i go into the bathroom grabbing tissues and the first aid kit. i grab band aids and apply them, softly but slowly i cry. throwing away the tissues, and wiping my tears was the hardest thing ever since i still had to check on the kids. i wear a sweater to cover my arm full
of band aids, i walk down the stairs getting ready to say goodnight.

"goodnight!" i walk down yelling "night steve!" will says "goodnight.." dustin says half asleep already "night" mike and Lucas says "Steve.. can i talk to you? alone." she says "yea sure" i pull her around the corner "don't kill yourself.. please" she cries in my arms "its okay.. i'm sorry, its alright, i'm here" i say whispering to her as she hugs me tight still crying in my arms "iv'e got you, i'm not going anywhere.. i promise" i say quietly.

I MIGHT HAVE CRIED A LITTLE 😭🤞
(story isn't finished yet)
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