Alpha Centauri

Thirty-Six - Julian

The space pod sails into the pale Nevada sky. I watch as the desert passes by below us. It's beautiful, but I can't enjoy it as much as I want to.

Nizami hasn't spoken to me at all since we took off. She lies Daemon's body down on the bottom bunk and sits on the floor with her head in her hands, the occasional tear rolling down her face. She takes one of his limp hands in hers.

I want to approach her, but she looks like she'd rather be alone to explore a different side of herself.

That's what I did while I was in the government's custody.

I was out cold for the first half of the trip. I woke up lying face down in the back of some sort of vehicle, the barrel of a gun pressed into the back of my head. I was completely disoriented. I had no idea where I was or where I was going until I arrived in Area 51.

Things had gotten heavy in the past few hours. The hours before those I had spent in anxiety and misery, all of my escape plans hopeless and futile. The only good thing I experienced was seeing Nizami for the first time in what felt like weeks.

She doesn't seem to feel the same way.

I don't know what was going on between her and Daemon, but seeing him kiss her made my stomach knot regardless. He couldn't have been more than thirteen years old, and even dead, he's somehow he's making a jealous mess out of me.

I watch Nizami for a while, and then take control of the ship. I steer it down to the ground in some forest in some unfamiliar location. The ship touches down on the thick layer of pine needles blanketing the ground.

Nizami doesn't seem to notice we've landed. I stand and touch her shoulder. She stiffens and turns to me. Her gray eyes are puffy and full of tears. She's looks the same as she did back in Amsterdam, but somehow she's completely different.

I take her hand and pull her to her feet. I scoop Daemon's body up and leave the ship. Nizami drifts along after me, as quiet and sad as a ghost.

I face one of my palms toward the sky and thrust it upward. A chunk of earth breaks from the ground, pine needles flying. Nizami plants a kiss on Daemon's cold forehead before I gently place him in his grave at the base of a pine tree. She peels off her jacket and lays it over him.

Nizami buries her face in my shoulder, and I comb my fingers through her hair. I slowly move my hand, the dirt and pine needles whirls and spins around in a spiral back down into the hole. It's beautiful, somehow, the way the wind catches the earth and turns into a work of moving art.

I watch as the last of the pine needles swirl through the air and settle back down over Daemon's grave. Then I stand there and let Nizami cry on my shoulder. I feel tears stinging in my own eyes. I hate seeing Nizami like this. She doesn't deserve this. No one does. I can recognize what she's feeling anywhere.

She's broken.

After a long, long time, Nizami lets go of me and returns to the open space pod. The wind seems to grab her hair and pull it away from her beautiful, tear-streaked face. She stands at the door to the ship, waiting for me.

I approach her from behind, closing the hatch on the pod. I start to head for the controls, but Nizami grabs my arm and yanks me into her arms. It startles me at first, but I tuck her into my arms, gently stroking her messy braid. I'm not sure if this is to comfort her or for something else.

"Daemon's gone, Julian," she whispers, her breath against my neck. It's great to hear her voice again, no matter how grief-stricken her words are. "Promise me you won't go, too."

Nizami's broken. And I desperately want to fix her.

"I promise."

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