DESTINATION ALONE

MR C

I still can't understand after all these years being together, well I can't say put together sigh more like certified booty call.

Here overthinking again why can't he love me, I mean he always comes when I call he is Mr fixer, my hot bod, jack of all trades and confidant.

What is so wrong with me?! I got men left and right wanting to take me out, few marry proposals and I can't get this man to bring me to the grocery store. Why do I continue to put up with him, he can't even make me cum, don't check up on me not all there.. girl where u gone to now? Kay my best friend since childhood, sigh unfortunately I am still here just got lost in my thoughts again.

Christopher Reid has being a friend from we met on an online gaming app, we coincidentally went to the same high school but he dropped out, I didn't know him then. We met on the game instantly clicked we would talk n joke give each other advice let's say we knew each other secrets or so I wanted to believe.

When COVID came in we were home everyone thought the world was ending omg curfews, tests, masks, no public gatherings, it didn't bother me so much coz I got much needed time off work from my catering job. We were talking and I just got out of a bad relationship the conversation went from here is a shoulder to let's start a family here I taught yes my love language someone knew it n who better than a best friend awwww .

We couldn't keep our hands off each other he got all my daysoff, vacations oh my he had all of me, I gave him all of me he owned me, he consumed me, the air I breathed, the food I eat, I was so in love with this man, I fell asleep on the phone with him, I woke up to him I couldn't wait to see him, for him to hurry home to me to cuddle me to take care of my every need, and pleasures. I couldn't sleep without his voice on the phone putting me to bed when he has the graveyard shift n he would come home after work to me jus before I leave and he would take my lips and melt into me there was nothing in the world that mattered but us.

He became the love of my life I felt that I just did something right in my life then or it was my payment for past heart breaks he met my father and Kay the only other family I had left in this world apart from him. I met up with his sister and brothers and mom as well this was to be a new life one to cancel out all the childhood trauma, but life is such a funny thing motherhood was not in the cards for me and that broke me looking back then I guess it took a toll on him aswell but he wouldn't tell me if it did he just started communicating less and less after the second miscarriage things started going downhill it felt as if I wasn't alive anymore sex didn't excite me either, the world turned so dark and I was so alone. Something just broke inside me I guess apart of us died cause nothing was ever the same since then.